Getting it all done by 2011

Hi,
the clock is finally running out on 2011. Where does the time fly? Why did 364 days take so long to get through when we were kids and now they whiz by in the blink of an eye? It's New Years Eve already and I haven't a thing to wear....

What happened to 2011? What did I truly accomplish? Why didn't some one warn me that the sand was running out on the clock? It's not fair. I was just getting used to saying "2011" and now I have to start practicing this "2012" number. I don't even have a 2012 calendar yet to start keeping track or ticking off days on.... wait, I'm not ready for 2012!

I can't seem to type fast enough to get ahead of the clock. It just keeps ticking. Before I know it I'll be kvetching about 2012 being behind me. It's just too scary. Time used to go much slower. I don't understand how it picked up speed over the years. I used to own a lot more of this 'time' commodity, now it just slips through my fingers like water. Tic, toc, tic..... oh be quiet!

Making every day count is now harder than ever as I feel there are far fewer days to count. Where did the endless amount of time go? Saying "I'll do it later" is now a very scary sentence to me. Later may get here too soon, or not at all. 'Right now' is even a potential panic mode. It also flits by. I need to slow it all down but I don't know how. Forget about more bandwidth, I want them to come up more time, slower time, endless time. Something I could really use in life.

Plastic surgery is an interesting way of trying to slow up or erase time. Our faces tell the time of our life. I'm keeping every one of my lines and wrinkles. That way everyone can tell I've put in my time, and earned it. I'm good with that concept. What I'm not that good at is wasting time. It's too precious. I get crazy watching people fritter it away. Don't they realize there is a finite amount we are all given and throwing even a second away is a horrible waste? I guess not, just watch the stop and start of a football game. What a way to waste time!

In 2012 I hope to make the most of my time. All of it.
Happy New Year.

xox
m

Do you ring, ping or ding?

Hi,
cell phones, I hate them. I see them as a necessary evil for some people, but most of them are just plain annoying: the phones and the humans using them. The world-wide phenomenon of them makes me want to get off the planet some days.... actually, most days.

I have to admit I own a cell phone, but I own it, it does not own me. I rarely carry it, I never have it on even when I do remember to bring it along and I never using while driving a vehicle or operating heavy machinery. I don't give out the number because I don't want anyone calling me on it. If you need to talk to me, call me at home. If I'm not there, leave a message and I'll call you back, I promise. I'm not that important that I need to be found 24/7. If I ever have an emergency I'll ask someone for help who is driving by or standing next to me.... or I'll figure out how to solve my own dilemma at hand. I've lasted 52 years on this earth and have managed just fine without having a phone attached to my head 99.9% of the time.

I am amused by one cell phone occurrence. Lately I've noticed more and more people have adopted a 'ring tone' that sounds just like the ring of an old fashioned dial telephone. It's very funny to me to hear these phones go off and see people pull out their IPhone to answer it. It is as if we have almost come full circle on the phone evolution. I would not be surprised if phone booths start to make a come-back just for the novelty or the spiral rubber handset cords reappear to attach your cell phone to your purse or knapsack. Why not? Retro looks are everywhere.

Cell phone addicts, and their addiction, seem to get worse ever year. When they are not talking about absolutely nothing at the top of their lungs they are zombies watching angry birds die on a 2"x4" screen. This is what their life has been reduced down to. Forget about looking at beautiful sunset, smiling at a person you just walked past or taking the time to do a good deed. It's all about the phone and themselves. I watched two cars collide right in front of our house as both drivers stopped paying attention to the road at the same time and crashed into one another. They were still talking into their phones as they got out of their cars and started to accuse the other of being a jerk.... I considered the whole incident to be poetic justice for them both.

Will we survive as a race with cell phones glued to our ears? I'm looking at it as a thinning out of the genetic pool. Those left standing will probably know how to hang up when their quarter is used up... and if you don't understand that reference, than you probably won't be one of the survivors.

xox
m

It only took 7 months

Hi,
Last June my husband and I were in Singapore and it was my birthday. I love celebrating my birthday, especially when it's in another time zone. Then it doesn't count and you don't get older, but you still get to party. My birthday, my rules.

We were strolling the main drag in Singapore and it was a 'special' shopping extravaganza week so the store were running big sales. If you wanted 10% off in Channel, and thought that was a bargain, power to you. We did go into a favorite store of mine, Desiguel. It's a funky line of clothing out of Spain. I have bought some pieces from them in their New York location. Marshall got me an awesome jacket and a fun skirt as my birthday gifts. I was thrilled.

Getting home to Pennsylvania and unpacking my loot, I noticed a hole in my new skirt, right in the middle of the material. It hadn't been worn so it was a flaw in the manufacturing. Bummer! I contacted the company, explained my problem and requested a solution. Little did I know that this would take 30 e-mails, 20 phone calls to Europe and 7 months of my time to get corrected.

They have been very nice about the whole thing but if I wasn't so tenacious, a lesser pest would have given up long ago. Finally, we should be getting a credit sent to our bank this week. For some odd reason they couldn't just credit our VISA card, they are wiring us money, and covering the cost of the wire transfer. If there was a hard way to do this, they found it. It's not my business but I'd have a return/credit policy that works a little easier than this. I wanted them to just have the shop in Singapore issue a VISA credit and be done with it..... silly me trying to make life easy.

By the end of this week we should have the money in our account and I still have the skirt. They didn't want me to send it back when I offered. I've done an adequate mending job on it and it's certainly wearable..... only I know where the hole was. Next time I'll inspect the garment much closer before walking out the store and traveling 10,000 (actually 9945.9) miles. Save myself the aggravation.

xox
m

What a scam!

Hi,
today's episode involves fudge.

I received a delivery of packaged fudge from a company called "Figis". I've never heard of them, have you? It's a lovely round tin filled with 4 flavors of fudge. I haven't opened to taste it but I looked the product up on the internet. The problem with this 'gift' is I had no idea who sent it. The only message on the box said "two of best friends, Bobby". Certainly not proper English grammar and I have no idea who "Bobby" is. I have an Uncle Bob (who never uses the name Bobby), a cousin in California who I haven't seen since his Bar Mitzvah, my dad's best friend who I still call Mr. Scolnick (or Robert if I'm feeling brave) and my girlfriend Bobby in Washington.... no one who would buy us fudge.

I called Figis to try and back-track where this order came from. After 15 minutes on the phone I finally get to a supervisor who tries to help me out. One of the odd things about this gift is that it is addressed to "Mr & Mrs Marshall Naiman". Anyone who knows us is very aware that Marshall's last name is not Naiman, that is my name, his is Aurnou. Red flag! Eddie, my customer service supervisor, is telling me, after 10 minutes of looking at a computer, that the order was phoned in by a "Marshall Naiman" and sent to us, to be billed to us. Crap! Five minutes later I have Eddies assurance that we are not to be billed for this product and I am very happy for them to come and pick it up. He promises me that we will not be billed for this fudge and to keep the product as an apology for the mishap... well, I paraphrased, he wasn't quite that eloquent.

My best guess is that this is a total scam. I think the plot is that this company sends out a bunch of these 'gifts' assuming no one will check to see who ordered it. Then next month they start sending a bill for it and, in the confusion of  the Christmas shopping frenzy, most people will just assume that they did order this product (or feel guilty about already having eaten it) and pay the bill. I'm very "bah-humbug" this time of year.... and I think elves are totally dishonest Soviet spies and Santa is really Dr. Strangelove. It's all a plot. I'm sticking to my story, elves and all.

I hope the fudge is at least decent tasting.

xox
m

new exercises

Hi,
I'm battling a bad case of bronchitis, and losing. The cracked bone in my foot is better but still not great and it's been like this for 5 months. I'm falling apart quickly, age isn't helping. I can't swim with this cough or do any standing with this foot problem... but I have found a solution to my lack of exercise.

Yoga Housework.

I need to trademark this and get the patten going so that I can make millions of dollars and do infomercials at 3am. My new series of moves lets me get some exercise and Zen out while I clean. I use my "Ugai" breath to  calm before tackling the oven. Down Dog position is perfect for wiping the baseboards. Sun salutation help me reach new heights to sweep cobwebs away. Leg lunges are fabulous for getting under the tables and couches. Looking for dust bunnies has never felt so grande.

For all the hundreds of Yoga poses there are, I can find uses for them while I clean & scrub. At the end of a couple of hours I have bent, stretches, rolled, swept, wiped and worked every muscle in my body... plus I found 35 cents in the couch. I am a tower of power in my Yoga house cleaning practice. I haven't quite found a use for head stands yet but I'm working on it.

I'll need a name & a slogan for this new fitness craze, too bad they've already cornered "Zumba". I'm taking a poll on what you think the best. All suggestions are welcome. I'm thinking something along the lines of  "Yocle"... sounds jolly, fun to do and easy to pronounce. "Yocle your way to a clean body, mind and home". Are you still with me here?

Maybe this has all been brought on by all the drugs I am on to get rid of this bronchitis or the fact that I have been house-bound for over a week... I'm getting a little stir-crazy here and running out of things to clean. No, I won't come over to your place to practice my "Yocle" on your floors.... but I'm happy to offer lessons for those willing to join the craze.

xox
m

Pearl Harbor Day

Hi,
today is December 7, 2011 and while it is noted in the USA as "Pearl Harbor Day", in Toronto it is Cara B. Naimans' birthday.

CB, as my brother & I call her, is the baby of the family. As the last child of the brood she got more than her share of attention. She was so cute as a little kid and did the funniest things. We taught her to play "Hearts", a card game where if you get all the hearts you win and everyone else looses. Cara was very sneaky at getting all the hearts before the rest of us realized that she had them, there by whipping us at a simple card game.... by a 4 year old. Cara could also do 3 or 4 complex jigsaw puzzles at the same time. She would dump all the pieces out of the boxes into a huge pile then spend the day sorting them and making up all the puzzles at once. Her favorite thing to do was to hide a few pieces so that even if we helped her she always got to put the last piece in.... this would make her howl with laughter. She thought that was the best, I guess you had to be there.

It's hard to imagine that the baby is 47 years old today. When did I get such a mature little sister? I still think of her as a kid learning to sing "I'm a little tea pot..." with a punch line of "Sock it to me baby, let it all pour out!"  I think that was where her musical talent was first noticed. Many viola lessons later we would all watch her in awe perform at the UofT (University of Toronto) concerts. Is that really my sister playing with that group of musicians? What happened to "I'm a little tea pot?" When did Brahms & Beethoven get into the mix?

As Cara has grown up she has picked up languages as if they were always on her tongue just waiting to be spoken. Friends from her travels around the globe are plentiful. Her partner, Andy, cats Haroon & K2, are all a huge part of her life. Cara makes a great gefilte fish and reminds me of our grandmother in many ways... and that's a good thing.

Happy Birthday CB, and many more.

xox
m

Where to kvetch?

Hi,
today I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about employees who have been fired from their jobs because they posted 'derogatory remarks' about their employers, fellow workers or their actual place of work. I'm torn between the right to freedom of speech vs. the transparency of the internet and it's ability to go viral on issues or items. Should we have to watch everything we say and print for fear of losing a job or friends? Maybe the issue is that we, as a society, now think that ever thought we have is a brilliant one and the whole world should know it right away. Hence the popularity of Twittering. Did  really need to know that Taylor Swift got a  haircut yesterday and it looked cute? Was this news worthy? Did I care?

No and no.

I blog and so do millions of others. I try and be respectful of my friends and family, their privacy and their feelings. It's a fine line to walk when you want to kvetch. You used to be able to chat over the backyard fence. Then it was a cranky phone call that allowed us to vent. Now it's the internet and the whole world is listening in. Should we filter our thoughts? That's a slippery slope to censorship in some minds, but do we have the right to lash out either. I was always told that your rights end at the tip of someone elses' nose. In other words, you can swing that arm but when it collides with someone else it's not longer within your own right. Flinging words around can be just as dangerous. That pen (keyboard) is just as mighty as the sword (Ozi), if not more so.

Picking your spot to vent your woes is now a dicey endeavor. We all have items of concern and talking about them helps us deal with the stress of carrying them around on our own shoulders. Sometimes others are even able to help solve problems for us because they've been there themselves. The solution seems to be in the dialogue rather than in the tirade. I think if we went back to talk to people, face to face, there would be a whole lot less legal action taken because of the miscommunication in print. I say we all go out into the backyard and find a neighbour to yak with. It's still the best place to kvetch.

xox
m

one less drunk driver

Hi,
this is a tale worth telling.

Thursday, Thanksgiving evening, we were driving home from dinner with Marshalls' family, down Route 206 in New Jersey. For the most part it's a two lane "highway" but there are traffic lights every 1/8th of a mile. As we pull away from a red light a car in the right turn lane on our right side, doesn't make a right turn but instead, cuts Marshall off and pulls in front of his car really tight so that we are almost kissing bumpers. The jerk then hits his brakes, making Marshall have to slam on his brakes so that we don't hit him. The driver in front of us is now proclaimed a total moron by both of us. Marshall then flashes his high beams at the guy to let him know how pissed he his so the driver then slams on his brakes again. Good thing Marshall is far enough behind him that it doesn't matter and we don't collide.... but now Marshall is very, very angry with this dude.

We watch him creep up on the tail of the car in front and weave enough so that we both decide he's not only a bad driver but probably not the top of the I.Q. scale either. That prompts Marshall into action. He pulls out his phone and calls 911. I'm thinking "so what, the police aren't going to pay any attention to his complaint". Boy was I wrong.

The 911 dispatcher quickly got a patrol car that was in the area and as we described where we were and where this driver was headed they were able to apprehend him. The dispatcher had us pull into a police station 1/4 mile down the road to get a signed statement from Marshall. By the time we pulled into the police station they already had stopped the driver and had administered a breathalyzer test... which he flunked! With Marshalls' statement and his failed DUI test he is now in big do-do.

I was so impressed that my husband was able to get a drunk driver off the road and arrested. His mom sure named him correctly, "Marshall" did his duty that night. It's why I love this man of mine.

xox
m

Cabbage Rolls - Version 2.0

Hi,
it's fall, season of cooking. The temperature drops and all I want to do is stand in the kitchen and make food. It's my comfort zone. Maybe it's the heat of the stove top or oven that I crave as I battle to stay warm. I feel that every fall I get cold to the bone and stay that way until April but cooking helps me pass the frozen feelings away.

Last Thursday was the final pick-up week at the co-op farm association that we joined. The harvest was certainly plentiful and delicious this year. In the last collection of veggies was the most perfect cabbage. I couldn't wait to get home and make stuffed cabbage rolls. I have no idea why this became so important for me to create. I have never made stuffed cabbage rolls before in my whole life. I did watch my grandmother and mother make them on many occasion. I certainly have eaten enough of them in my life time, but never before have I felt the urge to put them together. Don't ask me where this came from, I have no clue.

I called my mom to make sure I had the right list of ingredients in my head and a general knowledge of assembly laid out. Ground turkey, cooked rice, panko (instead of bread crumbs), Dijon mustard, seasoning and an egg for the filling. Fresh canned tomatoes, vegetable juice, sweet chili sauce, tomato paste, brown sugar and a dash of vinegar for the sauce. Steam the cabbage leaves and take out the center vein, check. Stuff with the filling and roll up into packets, check. Steam rolls, check. Cook the steamed rolls in the tomato sauce, check. Eat, oh wow! I'd forgotten how much I loved cabbage rolls. Why did I wait so long to try making them? Shame on me.

The first dozen of production were a huge success as far as I was concerned. Even Marshall liked them enough to ask for seconds, and more of them to eat again for lunch the next day. I have sent some down to Florida for my mother's stamp of approval. She was excited that I was making cabbage rolls and I could hear her salivating over the phone, so I promised if they turned out edible that I would mail her some. They should arrive tomorrow. I've made a second batch and frozen them for future consumption. Re-heated they are even better than fresh. There is something about tomato sauce products always being better the more they are re-heated.... other than pizza (but there are fans of day-old pizza that will beg to differ I'm sure).

Learning how to make chulopchas (cabbage rolls) has been a blessing and a curse. I can now recreate one of my favorite childhood comfort foods... I also will have yet another food that I really don't need to cook in my repertoire.  Oh well, I can always do extra laps in the pool to burn them off.

xox
m

Freckles' Friend

Hi,
there is a new gal in town and she's shacking up with our tenant, Freckles.

Freckles, as you may or may not remember, was our pond frog. He moved in last spring but seemed to fly the coop for the summer... or maybe he just went back packing in Europe, there were rumors to that affect floating around for a while. Any way, he's home and he's got a paramour. Ain't she a cutie! They make such a nice couple.

They don't pay rent but they are responsible for bug reduction and security. Both of which they are great at. I haven't seen a single mosquito around the house and any time I get near the pond Freckles (or his bride, I'm not sure which?) jumps up and scares the crap out of me. You can imagine what that might do to an intruder who isn't expecting security frogs to attack at any movement... or is that moment? What ever.

We do have house rules for the water babes. No unnecessary splashing. No loud 'ribbits' after 11pm. No pets. No slime on the rocks. We're a family friendly home but we're hoping that the frog population doesn't get any bigger. There are fish to consider and limited space to share. It's a nice neighbourhood and we'd like to keep it this way.

As to her name. I knew you'd ask. Freckles hasn't officially announced it, but I think it's 'Babette'... hence the story is that he brought her back from Paris with him after saving her from becoming an appetizer at Maxim's. Babette is here on a temporary visitors visa and Freckles is trying to get her paper work straightened out so that she isn't deported or turned into dinner somewhere in Philly. It's all rather complicated right now. We're just hoping Homeland Security doesn't need to get involved.

xox
m

NBA..... boo hoo

Hi,
I'm starting out with an apology.
I'm sorry, I just can't feel bad for the big boys of the NBA right now. What a bunch of brats.

They can throw a ball through a hoop and jump 18' in the air. Great, but is it worth millions and millions of dollars to be able to do this feat? I think not. I'm a b-ball fan. I have no idea why I like watching basketball. Maybe it's jealousy over being so small while they are just the opposite of my stature. I am impressed that they can coordinate any body that big and make what they do look graceful at all. Is it priceless? Not in my mind.

As the league and the players bicker over who gets what size slice of the pie, the whole meal is disappearing. Greed has taken over and no one is getting anything. Today there was an article in the Wall Street Journal about what the players are doing to fill their time and pockets since there is no series happening. One guy is doing a documentary on how badly men are dressing lately (does he see what Dennis Rodman has worn on a good day?) Another player was on "Family Feud" duking it out over the top 3 answers about orange foods. I'd feel sorry for these boys if I didn't know that over the last few years of their careers they made more money than most people make in a life time of real work. Maybe while they are off picketing the owners they should be taking courses in money management and fiscal responsibility.

The season is shot for this year and now they are saying that 2011-2012 probably won't happen either. I'm fine with that, except it affects so many other jobs like the arenas that have to fill the empty space. Hotdog sales will probably slump. T-shirt venders are going to need to dump inventory. Will Nike cut down production of basketball shoes in sizes 18 to 26? I bet they will. The tough economy is going to get a lot tougher. Now what will all those unemployed big boys do with no income and a life style of living large? There is not a lot of call for tall Santas in the mall or over-sized elves. Will we need to hold a tag day for Kobe?

On the up side think of all the money that could be re-directed into education or health or safety issues around the country since we won't be spending it on basketball tickets. I know that isn't going to happen, but it's a thought.

xox
m

Decapitated worms

Hi,
the garden is officially closed for the season. I pulled the last of the elephant ears out today, decapitating at least 30 earth worms. Yeah, I know you can't cut a worms head off, but they do squirm a whole bunch when you slice them in half with a spade. It's hard to imagine still having to garden in November. As a Canadian, the mud raking session is usually done by the end of September. There is never anything to bother with in October, and November is usually when some silly winter weather starts to roll in. Not in Pennsylvania. September & October we still had blooming flowers and I was trimming bushes back for the 10th time. This never-ending growing season is brutal.

The canna plants hit 9' tall this year and I dug out 40lbs of tubers. I have already dumped 10lbs of them on women at the health club with instructions to plant them next April and I am not responsible for what they produce.... which is a whole lot of flowering plant, and more tubers. The elephant ears were even more prosperous and plentiful. Leaves the size of kitchen tables and stalks reaching over 10' high. It looked very tropical in the front of our house. Chopping it all down was heart breaking but if I don't get it out before a hard frost these plants will die, and I'll have nothing to wow the neighbours with next year. I really did have to yell 'timber' when I felled these monsters, and they land with a definitive 'thud' they are so heavy. I think I'll invest with a machete next year and wear jungle paint as I make my way through the yard work.

The flower beds are cleared, the detritus is dealt with and my back is only a little sore. This year it was 12 hours of labor for clean up of just the flowering plants and some dead tree branches that fell from last weeks snow event. I don't even touch the falling leaves, that's for hired help and it can take 3 guys with leaf blowers 2-3 hours to clear out our yard. Mature trees are lovely until they shed... and then they aren't so pretty to pick up after.

Some aspirin and a hot shower await me. I need the winter to recuperate from all this gardening.

xox
m

what a great idea

Hi,
Why didn't I think of this and market it first?
"Wanted" advertising on  highway billboards.

I've seen everything on billboards over the last 50 years or so, from the hokey to the pokey. The tackiest was in Toronto at Victoria Park and Eglinton. It was for a car dealership whose slogan was "swing on down" and so they had a girl on a swing that moved back and forth hanging on the billboard. Even as a kid I thought it was silly and it didn't age well. Every so often some prankster would get up on it and decorate the swinging figure, usually with something rude or obscene. Once someone stole her off the billboard... an no one noticed for a whole month.

Last night, driving on the Pennsylvania Turnpike I saw an LED billboard, the kind that flashes different ads at 30 second intervals and as I glanced at it, the image was an FBI wanted poster for a murderer in the Philadelphia area. Edward Murphy, in case you're curious. Nasty looking picture and not the Eddie Murphy of SLN fame either. I think this is a great promo idea. Between the internet and the interstate highway system it should be impossible for a felon to hide anymore.

Giving the FBI most wanted list some real face time is a fabulous way to get people out from under their rocks of hiding. I didn't know this Edward guy was wanted by the FBI but now, if I see him, I'm dialing 911 as fast as I can.... there is bounty money involved in this too. Who else can I be on the look out for? I'm going to pay a lot more attention to used car salesmen and insurance sellers. I'm positive there have to be a few of them on a list for doing something nasty to someone. Truly, give the bad guys their own Facebook pages and let the whole community know they are 'wanted'. I bet it would go viral in hours.

The old days of posters in the post office are long gone. I haven't see one of those signs since we moved from Fort Wayne to PA. The world is a much smaller place now, with fewer hiding spots. Just ask Gaddafi or Bin Laden. Billboards for the hunted criminal seems like a winner to me. I'm just sorry I didn't jump on it first.

xox
m

New Month

Hi,
it's getting to be that time of year again... count down! The second Halloween is over people here start shifting into shopping mode. Even in this 'economic depression' (and I am not going to pull any punches by calling it anything other than what it really is) there is a deluge of ads on TV for Christmas lay-away plans. Are they kidding me? Unemployment is at an all time high since the Dirty Thirties and we need to push X-mas crap? Houses are being foreclosed on in record numbers and the ad men keep pushing useless merchandise at us. "Buy, Buy, Buy... or you're not a good person". Debt? That word suddenly seems to have dropped from our daily vocabulary. How many credit card applications do you think we get sent in one week of mail? Last week, in 6 days of post, we received 18 different applications. Some disguised as vacation give away plans, some were from associations, others still looked like real mail (I almost forget what that is). No we don't need special terms, reduced fees, lower interest rates or flashy cash-back programs. I'm not shopping!

Bank of America tried to add a $5 yearly fee to it's debit card program but got such heat from customers and the press that it called it off today. Good. People need to get used to spending only what's in their pocket or bank account. My mantra is "no more credit". If you don't have the money at hand, you can't buy it! Want it? Tough, only if you have the pennies in your piggy bank, otherwise, stop shopping for stuff you probably don't need. The Black Friday shopping frenzy is heating up. Are there real bargains to be had? Maybe. Do you need another Blackberry/Kindle/60" screen TV? Probably not. Can you live without upgrading your widgets & gadgets? You bet your life you can. If it ain't broke, don't buy another. Unfortunately, these are concepts that people just don't want to hear. They are still stuck on the consumer-mode from the 90's. I really think no one has been listening to the media and the fact that we are on the brink of financial dissolve world-wide.

I get very bah-humbug this time of year and practically shut down from the bombardment of shopping promotions. It takes all my strength to not scream "I've had enough, and I won't take it anymore". It's usually February before my blood pressure goes back down to normal and I venture out to buy anything more than just food. Trust me,  it's not safe out there until Ground Hogs' Day.

xox
m

All Hallows Eve

Hi,
I had a great Halloween, did you?


This year I was invited to take part in a haunted house set up at my friend Kevin's place. Every year for the last four years he has done up his home in Fairless Hills, PA (10 minutes from our place) to entertain the neighbourhood on Halloween. Kevin is the guy I use to do maintenance on our lawn, cut trees and hedges down to size, occasionally plow snow that we can't move ourselves. This fall I found out he is a landscaper with an edgy side. He was growing his hair long and when I asked why, he told me for his Halloween event. I'll bite... what 'event'? He does up his house as a scary place for the trick or treat crowd. I offered to help out since we don't get a single trick or treat-er in our neck of the woods. The main street is too busy for kids to walk and the houses are too far apart. You'd never get anywhere or get any amount of goodies in this place. When I asked what Kevin planned to do at his home I knew immediately what I could offer to help with. Make-up!

Kevin gets all his family and a dozen or so friends to assist with his haunted house. They spent three days setting up a maze on the front yard and around the back using landscaping tarps, black light, strobes, flashing bulbs, neon balloons, dozens of decapitated manikins, tombstones, body parts, sound systems with scary music and screams everywhere.... a bond fire burning witches, dismembered victims, grim reapers... you name it, they have it. I came over at 3pm and did make up for the zombies, crazed clowns, maniacal priests, chainsaw slashers, vampires, ghosts and anything else they asked for. It was fantastic. Kevins' mom brought in food so everyone could eat before taking their places and then the fun started. 

Their neighbourhood is teaming with kids. They also had been putting up sign around the whole place for a week promoting the haunted house. Last year they had 200 people coming through.... probably as many if not more may have shown up this year. I stuck around to see the full effect as I walked the maze. Disney on bad drugs would be a good way to describe it. Every turn and twist of the maze has something flashing or screaming at you, things and people jump out when you least expect them. It's creepy and ghoulish and funny as all hell. It also costs Kevin a lot of money to buy all this paraphernalia and set it up but he and his partner, Dana and their families love it and wouldn't miss it for the world. I loved being a part of it all and have signed up for next years event.

I have to start planning my costume.
xox
m

It's Fall

Hi,
I'm about to surrender to the seasonal change and move my light weight summer clothes into storage for the next forever. This time of year depresses the hell out of me.

I don't like to see my garden die it's slow, horrible death. Everything is covered with frost in the morning and starting to wilt in the worst way. I know I'll have to plan a day to dig up the canna & elephant ear tubers to store for the winter or they will rot in the cold earth. The tall grasses will stay until the spring but all the irises and lilies will have to be cut down. No more blooms to look forward to, no more blossoms to oooh & aaah over for months and months. Yes the fall colours are pretty but they fade too quickly, leaving a mess of leaves everywhere to rake and clean up out of the pond. Just more work in my opinion than they are worth.

It's dark now at 5:30pm. By 7:30 at night I feel like I should be getting ready for bed. It's dark when I wake up. Was fall always this gloomy? I think not, but every year it gets harder for me to deal with the damp cold as it creeps into my bones and stays until April. Wearing 5 layers of clothes doesn't seem to keep me any warmer. Thank goodness my husband is a furnace and I have him to radiate heat in my direction. Speaking of furnace, our thermostat is on the fritz so we're waiting for a heating-guy on Monday to set up a new thermostat or relay (I'm not sure what the issue is). I can turn the heat on, no problem, but it doesn't shut off at all. Last night I forgot to turn if off and by 2am it was almost 80° in the house. I woke up in a sweat, with a headache. That was the end of that nights' sleep. Can you tell Fall makes me cranky?

Planning to get through the winter is an event all it's own. I try setting up 'spring-like' events to get me past the cold. The Philadelphia Flower Show is a favorite. We are taking an Atlantic crossing cruise in April. Hopefully in December we will get down to Florida for a few days of sun & sand. These trips keep me from going completely insane over the pending doom & gloom of Fall and Winter. I wish we lived in the Caribbean but I think island living is not going to fit my husband at all. At least not full time.

I shall survive.... but I still wish it was April, not November next month.

xox
m

Cigarette butts

Hi,
I work at an athletic center. I teach swimming to children and adults. I love my job. Could someone please explain to me where all the cigarette butts on the parking lot pavement come from?

The Newtown Athletic Center is huge. It offers everything from childrens' dance classes to mixed martial arts events. I like to think that all the members and staff are healthy and health conscience people. Obviously not according to the pile of nicotine stubs in the surrounding area of the property.

Today after teaching in the pool for 2 hours I headed to my car, and on the way, for no real reason, I started to count the cigarette butts on the pavement. I was parked in a far corner of the lot so I had to walk approximately 75 yards to my car. I counted 112 cigarette butts in that distance. They have been renovating and repaving the lot for the last 2 weeks so I know this is 'fresh garbage' on the ground. The work crew that I have seen smoking have been told to put their butts in the trash and I've seen them do that, so what is lying on the ground has to have come from members going in & out of the club. What makes a person spend a small fortune to workout at a health club and still smoke?

I have seen members light up the minute they leave the building. Hot & sweaty from their treadmill run or Zumba class, puffing away as if their life depended on it. It's almost comical. You just worked your body to the bone, trying to maintain an aura of  health and here you are sucking on a cancer stick. What's wrong with this picture? It certainly matches the one I used to see of all the health professionals at the hospital puffing away outside the building, then heading in to the oncology ward. These are people who should know better and set an example for others. It warps my mind that doctor, nurses and members of health clubs can still smoke with a straight face on.  I'd laugh but it really just makes me want to cry.

I have to look at my cancer scars everyday. I am lucky that I have only scars to remind me of what I went through. Maybe smokers need a few visible scars. Nothing else seems to keep them from dropping their trashy butts all over the parking lot.

xox
m

Keep your hat on

Hi,
I'm a bald chick. I quiet like it actually. No hair issues to deal with, ever. I never have a bad hair day any more and they used to be the "problème du jour" in my life. No more. I wear scarves, wigs on occasion, and more recently, funky hats. I'm finding the hats can cause interesting reactions more often than not.

Yesterday the greeter in Walmart made a point of stopping me to comment on how terrific he thought my hat looked. He kept me at the door for at least five minutes going on and on about the hat-look. Ruben is a nice guy and a perfect Walmart greeter but this was over and above his duty. Monday I was out having lunch with friends and again the hat caused comments and smiles of approval from strangers. It's a weird thing to have people feel the need to acknowledge something on your head. I would let the whole thing pass except it happened twice last week also. In a parking lot a gentleman called out "nice hat". I looked around to see who he was talking to.... yup, had to be me. I was the only person in the lot.

I have had women tell me how nice a hat looks on me. That they used to wear them all the time. Why did they stop? Fashion dictated that it was no longer part of the ensemble necessity. Too bad. Hats seem to cause a stir. There was a great book published about the women who wear hats to church. Black women in particular love to wear fabulous 'crowns' to services. The orthodox Jewish gang also spend a lot of money on head gear. My all time favorite was Ruthie Bass, my friend Brads' mom. She wore tremendous colourful hats to synagogue every week. I could always find her in the congregation crowd. The hats were her signature and everyone knew her because of them.  I also had a friend in Toronto who worked in sales. She started wearing fun hats on sales calls and they were a great opening for her. People seem to respond to hat wearers differently than non-hat wearers.

Not every hat gets a reaction though. Ratty baseball caps don't cause much of a stir. I haven't had a single person note the covering of my head when I wear one.... but when I wear the ivory leather baseball-style cap I bought in Greece, then I get noticed. I feel my head gear is an experiment in the making. If I was a larger person I might try more extravagant hats, but I'm too short to pull them off. I just look over powered by big brims or larger toppers. I knit a really cozy fisherman's cap. Marshall has one and he swears by its warmth. I like the fact that hats keep my head warm. I'm always cold. Head coverings do make a big difference in my body temperature. Sometimes function out-weighs fashion.... but it's always fun to get a person to smile just because of the hat-of-the-day.

xox
m

Mary Chapin Carpenter

hi,
Saturday night Marshall & I had tickets to see Mary Chapin Carpenter in concert at the McCarther Theatre in Princeton. I've been a big fan of hers for years and was looking forward to this performance. The McCarter is a great small venue, perfect for what I thought would be an enjoyable evening and date with my husband. It didn't turn out that way.

The concert was a total dud. The most disappointing thing was the sound quality, or rather lack of quality. We had center orchestra seats, perfectly located for optimal sound and view of the stage. From the opening chord we knew there was a huge problem. You couldn't hear the vocals, the piano player looked like he was playing but there was no sound to his instrument. Guitars were muddy and muted. Even the band looked dismayed at what was coming off their monitors in front of them. At one point a stage hand appeared and flipped the drummers monitor around, as if it was set up upside down to start with. It went from bad to worse when half way through the concert all the sound man managed to do was make the whole mess louder instead of fixing the mix. Now all you heard was loud unbalanced noise coming out of the speakers.

The rest of the concert wasn't anything to write home about either. The opening 3 songs were 'new', unintelligible lyrically and dirge-like. The pacing of the whole concert was draggy and dull. The only time the audience got excited was when Mary started in on her older hits which are lovely songs that we all sang along to. She and the whole band were dressed in black. It looked like a funeral procession on stage, and with the black back drop it was positively depressing. Mary also wore an ill-fitting pair of jeans that were not flattering or fit properly. Come on, show some style and grace at least, for what they charge for a concert I don't want to see someone look like they just came in from weeding the garden beds. Pretty shoddy.

Marshall & I both walked out shaking our heads at how lousy the whole thing was. I should have let Marshall go to the mixing board in the back of the theatre and fix the sound problems. He could have done a better job than the fat, pony-tailed yo-yo sitting there. The audience was too polite to cause a scene but you could tell when we walked out that no one had been impressed by the evening. The bus from the seniors home was waiting out front, possibly most of the patrons may have been too deaf to notice the lousy sound quality... or they all thought they needed new batteries for their hearing aids?

I did send and e-mail off to Ms. Carpenters management letting them know how poor we thought the concert was. That made me feel better, sort of, but  I would have rather had the fun night out I was expecting.

........um, I feel lucky today. NOT!

xox
m

Harissa

Hi,
today's' topic is hot sauce. You either love it or hate it. No one is ambivalent about hot sauces. I personally love real heat in a sauce. The hotter the better. Marshall thinks I could probably strip paint with some of the sauces I will eat. He might be right.

We have a membership to the local co-op farm. Every Thursday I get to go and pick fruit & vegetables. There is nothing better than fresh food. This year has been a bumper crop of hot peppers. Heaven! I pick two or three pounds every week and make fresh harissa.  Harissa is a Mediterranean pepper sauce/condiment that is used on everything in the Middle East. You take hot peppers,  jalapenos, poblano, habanero , red, green, purple... I don't care what as long as it's got the heat. Then I roast the peppers and some garlic. Throw it all in the food processor with some olive oil, ground cumin and caraway seeds, and voila! Fabulous hot sauce.

Not everyone is a fan. My husband can take 'some spicing' but for the most part he's not excited about setting his taste buds on fire or turning purple from the blast in his mouth. I am very appreciative of his sensitivity. When I cook I add my heat post-plating. He rolls his eyes at the mound of harissa I throw on my food. I dig in with joy and abandonment. I don't feel the burn, only pure pleasure of exciting taste on my tongue. Hot sauce is what I crave. The rest is just a carrier for the heat I like to eat. I know that the fire breathers in the circus don't get burned and neither do I.

Where did this taste develop from? Jewish cooking is usually 'flavorful' but never on the spicy side other than peppery, so I didn't grow up with hot spices in our house. We did have the standard bottle of Tabasco sauce but that was strictly for Bloody Marys before dinner or a drop on a fried egg Saturday morning for breakfast. I didn't discover real heat until I found Indian food in my late teens. My Uncle Bob & Aunt Judy introduced me to Indian cuisine in Toronto and I've never looked back. Bring on the vindaloos sauce. Yum. Since then I have had my spice cupboard stocked with the makings of masalah and most Indian dishes assorted flavors. Maybe I was born on the wrong continent. Dull North American food doesn't get my attention. I want serious ignition of flavor in my beans.

Making my own hot sauce is a pleasure. Sharing it with others who have the same affection is a joy. I was able to serve it the other night to Marshalls' boss & his wife who came for dinner. They had brought me a bottle of olive oil from their olive orchard in France. I was thrilled with it. Fresh olive oil is so special. I, in turn, gifted them with a jar of my freshly made harissa from peppers I had harvested last week. It makes for an important friendship when you can exchange and share cuisine. There is a bonding in love of food. Hot sauces make a great welding.

xox
m

When you're hot, you're hot!

Hi,
Marshall, my beloved husband of over 6 years, is obviously a hottie. His big radiant blue eyes are hard to miss. Smart, funny, charming to a fault and generous to boot. Marshall is my man. Now, how do I convince his old girlfriend, Bunny, to bug off!

She is stalking him. We are having a good laugh about this, but part of it is sad. It has been 25 years or so since Marshall has seen her, and he certainly wasn't looking for her, but she has been making contact with him, through his bowling alley. Yes, she some how found out where he bowls every Wednesday night. Did I mention he's ranked #2 in his league? How sexy is that! {Stay focused Marilyn, back to the Bunny-tale.} At first it was a phone call a few weeks ago to the bowling alley asking if he was there. Corky, who runs the place said "yeah, Marshall bowls here". Corky then passed the message of "hello from Bunny" on to Marshall. He thought nothing of it and figured it would end there since he didn't respond or try to make contact with her. No such luck.

This evening after bowling he returned from the alley with a purple envelope in his back pocket. It's hard to miss a giant purple envelope sticking out of your husbands back pocket. Okay, I'll bite "what's with the giant purple envelope?" A letter from Bunny. "Are you kidding me?" I had to read it.... and so do you............verbatim.... along with my choice of rebuttal responses for why she need not bother.

Top 10 reasons why to articulate a HELLO to Marshall ("articulate", big word)

10) Sooooo proud of your undertakings to date, GE, Tyco flow, Bowling league (she missed asking about his collection of hood ornaments or the 8' slide rule)

9) How are your parents? (alive) I trust Heather and Scott are also well (also alive)

8) We have in common issued patent licenses (yes, Marshall's is for technically advanced electric circuit protection, hers is for removable toe pantyhose)

7) ..... and Tae Kwon Do colored degree belts (sexy bedroom attire if nothing else)

6) Realize that dream Lamborghini? (nope, but he got a 52 year old airplane)

5) For me, the utmost individual undertaking had been convincing Legislation to declare Holocaust Remembrance Day on our common calendar, no easy task, under the Bill Clinton administration, the nationwide outpour of gratitude has been never ending. (In 2005, the United Nations General Assembly designated this day as International Holocaust Remembrance Day... so she is part of the UN?)

4) What did you do with all the dear Marshall mail: I saved each of your letters (wow, these I have to read!)

3) Is the striking beard still a part of your dapper self? (gone, long gone, making him even sexier but she'll never know that)

2) I hope you are well. We are wealthy when we are healthy (nice sentiment, what Hallmark card did she get it off of?)
 
1) My dear parents mentioned your name recently which brought to mind scores of fond recollections. (dementia is a wonderful thing sometimes)

I offered to have Marshall invite Bunny (now using her real name of Bonnie) over one night for dinner. He choked. I don't think he trusts me not to put arsenic in her appetizer or spill scalding water on her head. I can be a great hostess and very cunning with a knife. Ooops, did that blade in your back hit any vital organs? Sorry.

Really, I'm not the jealous type, just protective of my man. He's such a hunk!

xox
m

cancer free

hi,
yesterday was check up day at UPENN with my oncologist, Dr. Lynn Schuchter. I am officially cancer free. Nothing showed up on my PET/ CT scan. I now can glow in the dark from all the radiation they have pumped into me for the last 2 years, but the cancer is no where to be found. I now have only a yearly check up for the next few years and hopefully I can get completely off their radar and radiation program. I hate drinking that cocktail for the test, blech!

In my mind, life is now back to 'normal'. It's been almost two years since I started this nightmare and I have made it through the tunnel of horrors. Coming out the other end is bliss. Dr. Schuchter says "I'm fabulous", so it must be true, she wouldn't lie to me would she? I like the way they never say "you're cured" or even "it's over". It's always something ephemeral and lofty. High enough up there to make you feel good, but not promise anything. I'll take it.

To celebrate my new found freedom and health Marshall & I cleaned the pond today. It really does feel great to do the mundane daily stupid stuff without the weight on your shoulders of pending tests. I have three hundred and sixty-four days of uninterrupted good health to live with. Nice. Even the elephant ear plant in our garden got into the party by blooming. That's the 'lily' you see posted on the blog photo. It's about 14" in length. The elephant ears I'm standing in with are over 4' in size. We have had such a hot, wet season the plants think they are in the tropics so they are blooming like they do at the equator.  I pretend we live in Panama... cancer free.

xox
m

it's that time of year again

hi,
swimming season is upon me. This is when the local parents come home from their summer vacations and start to 'program' the kids to death. If their children aren't throwing, kicking, batting, catching, punting, bunting or fielding a ball somewhere, the heavens are going to swallow them alive.

I shouldn't complain. It certainly is better for these tikes to be out trying to make a triple play rather than to be sitting in the basement glued to their DS games (Lord knows they spend enough time doing that as it is). I just can't get my head wrapped around the need to schedual, or over schedual, these little people. Going outside and just 'playing' is not an option anymore. The phobia about being abducted by space aliens has taken root and grown a generation of neurotic parents. You never see a game of pick-up road hockey or touch football here, ever! Games have to be organized and supervised and dictated by adults. What fun is that for either the kids or the parents? I would think the kids would love a free afternoon away from mom's evil eye and she might like a few hours to indulge in a trashy romance novel. I guess not.

All I see are bleary-eyed toddlers getting dragged into the pool for yet another round of activity. Dance lessons, martial arts class, team sports... it's one thing after another, day in and day out, with an occasional 'play-date' thrown in for good measure. These kids have busier social scheduals than most adults. To tell you the truth (and I always do), sometimes I just let the kids play in the pool. It's their only break from the hectic timetable they are blitzed through every week. A swimming lesson can be of more value when the student thinks they are just having fun. Pretending to be a whale or a starfish doubles as floating on their front or back but it's so much more fun when the spout blows. Riding the syrofoam noodle works as a horse race (or a balancing exercise) but spinning it as a pony ride works wonders. We sing songs, count going up and down the steps, look for Nemo under water and no one knows they are learning to swim. It's too much fun. 

I like my gig in the pool, I just don't consider it work. Playing make believe water monsters is much more important when you are 4 years old. If they happen to figure out how to swim along the way, great. If not, that's okay too. We got to just play.

xox
m

Mother Nature

Hi,
the weather just won't let up. It's raining cats & dogs today. Three weeks ago it was an earthquake, two weeks ago a hurricane, now we're back to flooding water. I surrender.

Weather watching has become an obsession with people. Since I can't control it or predict it with any accuracy I really don't care what the weather is or is going to be. I roll with it as best I can. Rain boots when it's wet, snow boots when it's cold. I learned all this in kindergarten and the rules haven't changed. As long as you stick to the parameters of weather issues then it usually turns out okay. Sometimes I forget my hat when it's sunny out but the rest of the time I'm dressed for success with Mother Natures' temper tantrums, better known as "bad weather".

Weather is never really bad. It may be excessive (see: floods, tornadoes, hurricanes and raining frogs) but it's all part of the game on this planet. It's when you get into weather denial that is when you have trouble. Tar paper shacks in Haiti don't ever stand a chance in hurricane season in the Caribbean. Anything less than a concrete silo in hurricane alley in the mid west is bound to fly at some point in time. Stilt built multi-million dollar mansions in Malibu are bound to end up in the Pacific on any given storm date. We are like ants, we build our homes in direct paths of nature and then wonder why they disappear in the drop of an tornado eye... only to rebuild them again in the same spot. Gosh we are a dumb species sometimes.

I bet the Weather Chanel is probably the most popular network right now. Broadcast news spends at least 25% of it's air time on weather reporting. Being a meteorologist is the best job going. You get paid for being right, and wrong, no matter what. Global warming, melting ice shields, shifting axis of the earth rotation. I can do nothing about any of these things except try and stay temperate and dry in my own abode.

I do have a new snow shovel ready and I'm starting to knit mittens in case anyone is still in weather denial that winter will be here before you know it. Enjoy the sun while it shines. I'm just hoping it comes out again before 2012.

xox
m

Hurricane 1, Marilyn 4

Hi,
last weekend we experienced our first Pennsylvania hurricane. Hopefully our last. Our house was fine, no leaks, no damage, no hits, no runs, no fouls. Whew. Neighbours were not so lucky. Behind us the Collins' had a huge tree land on their house. Gutters & roof were damaged but it made them re-think how many old big trees they have on their property. Nine trees and $8000 later they are feeling poorer in pocket but safer all around. People across from them had their Mini Cooper squashed by another tree. Power was out for 16 hours Sunday through Monday and for a few hours on Thursday but that was the depth of inconvenience for us. We ended up hosting a hurricane party Sunday night. I made sushi (gas stove provided cooking ability for rice and I had bought fresh fish on Saturday).Kim, Malcolm & Megan came bearing food and candles so we sat around by firelight and enjoyed a great meal with fun company. I think we should have a 'light-out' party once a month.

I've listened to people all week tell their tales of woes from this weather disaster. Serious flooding wiped out River Road here, along with several houses along the water. People with property in the 'flood zone' near the river all had filled basements. Most of the expensive damage was done by downed trees and branches. A lot of home owners here don't take care of the older trees and keep them trimmed, dead branch-free or removed when they rot out. Therefore, they are a disaster looking for a place to happen in a storm like this one. Now the arborists are making off like bandits getting the trees taken out or off buildings and mashed cars. They can name any price they want when you need a crane & crew to salvage your house. Power to them.

I hate to say it but I was feeling rather smug cleaning up our yard after the whole thing had blown over. Nothing fell down but buckets of rain on our new, dry roof. All our rotted trees were removed 2 years ago and dead branches are long gone thanks to my tree-master, Lee Stockard. Two hours of twig & branch picking up filled 4 large lawn & leaf bags, and I was done. Most of which was not even off our trees but stuff that was blown into our property. It pays to take that ounce of prevention rather than the pounding, just ask some of our neighbours.

xox
m

still raining

Hi,
I keep waiting to hear God, in a loud Charleston Heston voice, say
"Marilyn, build an ark. You're going to need it... and don't forget the unicorns this time."

Yes, it is still raining outside. It's not very windy but it seems to be moving the trees to and fro so it isn't calm out either. Our house is dry which is a huge relief. We did have a major roof problem a week ago but our roofer rescued us and is planning to get all the damages taken care of. The ridge vents near the back, where we have a flat roofing section, were taking in water and it ended up creating Niagara Falls in our foyer. Not pretty. The water ruined a door frame and our hardwood floors. The ridge vent has since been covered up where it meets the flat roof and Christopher is sending in his flooring repair man next week to assess the damages. I'm trying to stay clam about having the floor fixed. I'm praying that the section can be removed and replaced and stained to match (which I think it can if he's a really great flooring guy). Other wise it could mean having to have the whole first floor redone and I'm not thinking about that option.... concentrate on positive thoughts and cross fingers for us.

This whole issue is a joke compared to the people who have to evacuate by the Delaware. We have friends who have been flooded out 3 times in the last 8 years and are planning to move out to stay with neighbours on higher ground today. They have finally had enough of this and plan to sell their house ASAP...  as soon as it stops raining and the waters recede. Everything gets cancelled here when it rains hard. The roads flood at a moments notice, poor drainage systems or none at all in most places. Driving in anything smaller than a safari Range Rover is tricky. My Honda knows it's limits and stays in the garage for flood weather.

Yesterday I rode my bike down to my favorite market to get some fresh fish, yummy cherries, a bread and 2 heads of lettuce. I had 3 people ask how I was going to get all my necessary provisions home. They were stocking up for Armageddon. Who ever needs 40 lbs. of potatoes in one shot? How about 6 cases of Coca-cola, now there is a life saving necessity. It was wild in the market shop, people were in a frenzy to get enough food to last them for the rest of their life, at least that is what it looked like to me. I peddled away with my back pannier full of my treasures.  Let them eat potatoes.

xox
m

Captain Nemo

Hi,
it isn't what you're thinking. I'm not going to write a review of Jules Verne's, "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (1870)"... although it is a classic for good reason. I'm talking about teaching little kids to swim. Captain Nemo is my alias in the pool, among others. I also get called "Miss Marilyn", "Queen of the Pool" and "Swimming Diva" to name a few. Depending on my mood or the age of my student.


I only teach private lesson. One-on-one works best for me and the kids. I do have an adult 'learn to swim class' on Fridays but that's a different topic. When I'm teaching little children it's face-to-face. They trust me when they have my full attention and I can get them to push their personal boundaries farther than even they could imagine. They get their faces wet, head under the water, jump off the edge of the pool, look for treats at the bottom and play crocodile all because they have me right beside them, in their face and promising eternal support for as long as they are in the water with me.


Today I had new students, 3 year old twins, cute, cute, cute. In 40 minutes we went from crying and refusing to get wet, to loving swimming and looking forward to next weeks lesson. "I'm not wearing goggles" turned into a fashion statement that they both kids insisted on making. Riding a styrofoam noodle named "Max" brought giggles. Taking Mr & Mrs. Rubber Duckie for a dip was the best game of fetch ever played. Can you pretend to be an alligator and blow bubbles while walking on your hands in the shallow part of the ramp? You bet if it's fair game to chomp, chomp, chomp up the ramp and flutter kick till your legs give out. Yeah swimming!


You can't start them too young in my opinion and today I won over two new converts to the love of everything water & wet. Captain Nemo strikes again.


xox
m

Are you buying Gold?

Hi,
well, are you? The gold market fascinates me and my dad. He phones me regularly from Toronto to make sure I'm up on the latest price high. I inherited his obsession. I don't sit and watch it on CNN or Bloomberg like he does. I haven't the inclination to watch grass grow either, but golds' growth in price sure is interesting.

Why gold you ask? Why not. Nothing else is offering the same kind of return these days and the way the US dollar is sinking I'd rather have something that is not only holding its value but rising at an amazing speed. I can hardly keep up. Five years ago a few annalists were predicting gold would hit $2000 an ounce. At that time it was reaching $600, up from the $350 it had been languishing at for a decade or so. I thought they were a little crazy but I could see it hitting $1000/ounce, maybe. Should have, would have, could have.... ain't it always the way. We did buy some then, in hind sight I wish we'd bought a whole lot more. 

We have continued to purchase gold for the last 7 years and I am glad we did. It's hitting that $2000 mark and looking like the sky is the limit. We all know that there is a 'limit' to what it will rise to but the trick is knowing what to do with it when it plateaus out or starts to readjust in a downward fashion. ... and it will. It always does. Everything does.

I just happy I didn't buy into the first 'dot-com' useless paper IPO in 2008, nor am I buying in now. Google, Zynga, Facebook, MySpace.... they are 'air', they make nothing and produce nothing of true value. Here today, probably gone tomorrow. The consumer is so fickle it is difficult to predict what will happen to any of these companies. Google is trying to buy Motorolas' phone business. We'll see if that is finally allowed... can you say 'monopoly'? I don't think certain industries are anything but monopolies, we just don't notice them as much. My point is that I'd rather have the security of gold, an international measure of wealth, than Google shares right now.

I may not have the Midas touch or find that goose who lays golden eggs, but I know where to find our stash in a flash.

xox
m

free-dumb

hi,
I would like to know how some people get through life. As my friend Beth says "common sense is not so common any more". Daily I run into human beings making bad choices and then wondering why things are going well for them. Leave your keys in the car, and be shocked when someone stole it. Forget your spouses birthday, and not know why they are pissed at you. Bail out a business bleeding money, then question why things haven't turned around yet. Let us look closer at that last example.

Here I am (not really ME, but the theoretical "me"). My business is failing, I'm in debt to my eyeballs, I've run a company into the ground and have a hole 100' deep to try and climb my way out of. Logically I should just bury the poor dead thing and walk away. Throwing good money after bad has never worked out for anything. Why hasn't the U.S. government paid attention to this idea? Why are they all so hell bent on throwing more money at something that is so broken and sick it needs to die. No one wants a full blown recession. Why not? It's what is needed to get back on track. We could rise from the ashes like the Phoenix and be stronger for. Instead the fat cats get a bail out, pat themselves on the back for conning the government into saving their sorry asses and then to add insult to injury, they take the money and dole out excessive bonuses to themselves and all their buddies on the board who voted for them... and the circle goes round & round. It makes me sick.

Has anything been saved? Not one darn thing in my opinion. The markets continue to plummet. The dollar is dropping like a stone. Investors are heading to the hills. The U.S.A. is in a very sick state yet the IPO "dot-com" idiots are trying to tell us that the internet is worth billions and we should throw more money at the air, just like we did in 2008. History repeats itself when we don't pay attention to the first go-round.

The only thing that lets me sleep at night is the fact that Marshall & I owe nothing. Everything we have is paid for, ours in full, no debt, not one cent. If the value of the house, or the cars, or the stocks move up or down it doesn't matter, no one can come calling to repossess any of it. I don't know how people can live in a situation when, technically, the bank owns it all through loans and mortgages. The bank doesn't even want any of our stuff either, they are loaded down with their own losses. Self inflicted wounds abound and everyone was at fault. The greed took over and the common sense, which is not so common according to Beth, completely left the room.

There is no such thing as a free lunch, just free-dumb.

xox
m

back to white

Hi,
my adventure yesterday involved the dentist. I'm not a fan of the dentist. I like them, they are mostly very nice people, I just hate having anyone work in my mouth. It always hurts. I am blessed with my fathers good teeth and my mother beat proper dental hygiene into us at a young age. I haven't had a cavity in over 40 years, no root canals, not even a smidgen of gum disease and not a real need for braces (although my Aunt Gilda always commented on my over bite needing correcting, I've been able to live with it).

My teeth have changed through no fault of my own. Chemotherapy made them turn a dingy brown. I have had a front tooth that is discoloured since I was 5 (Richard Caplan pushed in on the playground ice and I fell, killing the tooth, I have yet to forgive him) but I didn't really care about it since it stayed in my mouth and never caused me any grief. The tint of my smile was looking unhealthy, and having a sad looking smile seemed liked a stupid oxymoron. I've been watching the movie stars and TV celebs get whiter and brighter teeth in the last few years, to the point where they practically glow they are so luminous, I figured I didn't have to go that white but they could be improved upon. I bought in.

Our dentist here offers a 'Zoom' system for whitening. I did what ever biased research you can on the internet about the system and  talked to her about the process. I also polled a few friends and stopped strangers on the street. David Letterman made a living asking people on the street stupid questions so why can't I? Okay, I didn't stop strangers but I did ask around. Seemed like I was the only person over 12 years old who hadn't had something done to their teeth. Time to get teeth-savvy beyond the tooth fairy. I dove right in.

I pent two hours in the dental chair yesterday with my mouth wrapped around a gizmo to hold my lips & tongue out of the way, cotton batten stuffed in every oral crevice visible and  then they start asking you questions... you know how this goes. Ugly. The dental technician painted a special bleach on my teeth then pointed a UV light into my mouth for 15 minutes while I was trapped listening to Regis & Kelly banter about drivel and giggle. Torturous. Not the procedure, the TV crap!

Once it was all over, and they repeat the bleach & light exposure 4 times so it takes about 1½ hours of sitting there while you go from Regis & Kelly to re-runs of The View, also painful. Not the whitening, the TV. After it was said and done I got teeth back that were almost 4 shades whiter than when I had started. I'm pleased with the results and the sensitivity of my teeth has returned to almost normal this morning. Next I am going to have the front 'dark' tooth have a veneer put over it and call it good. This was my "vanity over 50" move. Cheaper than a face lift or tummy tuck and less invasive than hair implants.

Worth every minute of Kelly Rippa hee-hawing.

xox
m

I've don't even have a parking ticket

Hi,
I'm tired of being detained.

Every time, and I do mean EVERY time, I cross back into the U.S.A. I am detained at Customs by Homeland Security. I get off a plane, line up, show my valid Canadian passport and Permanent Resident Card for the U.S.A. and then the fun starts. The officials smile at me, ask me to place my right 4 fingers on the security pad, then my right thumb, then my left 4 fingers, then my left thumb, then they take my photo... then they shake their head, frown and proceed to collect all my documents and march me to "the room".

"The room" varies from airport to airport but they are all pretty similar. They consist of as many as a dozen Homeland Security officials with full regalia on (back uniforms, badges of authorization, patrol batons, guns and bad haircuts), a counter too high for anyone to see over, several computer screens that only the officials can stare at, about 40-50 uncomfortable chairs, access to a bathroom and dull grey walls. I have been kept in "the room" for as long as 4 hours, waiting for it to be my turn.

While you sit, and all you can do is sit, you get to watch the Homeland Security team do their thing. They round up the little old ladies from India in wheelchairs. Young back packers from Germany. Businessmen from Taiwan. Mothers with screaming children. Fathers who speak little English. It's quite the motley crew once we are all assembled. No phone calls are allowed, don't even think about turning your cell phone on, let alone look at it to play Tetris (okay I'm dating myself). You just get to sit.

Once my name is finally called all I get is a "welcome back to the United Sates  Ms. Naiman", my documents handed back to me and a wave to the exit door. No explanation, no apology, no nothing, not even a stale cookie. I'm thinking the least they could do is hand out cookies and tea while you wait. I have tried asking what it is about me that gets me put in 'the room' every time but the most I get is a reference to the fact that I was sent back from crossing in Windsor to Detroit in 2006 (a whole other story). Okay, but they let me cross into the States the following day and Marshall had to marry me to keep that from happening again, so what's the problem now? We pay our taxes, I don't have a criminal record, the house is clean and I buy Girl Scout cookies. What is the matter with me?

My new attempt to clear this up is filing with T.R.I.P (Traveler Redress Identity Program), bet you didn't even know they had one of these, did you? June 13th I put in for a "redress I.D." which means they are supposed to get my name off what ever list it is on with Homeland Security so that I can show my I.D. and get through security like everyone else. I still haven't heard back from anyone at TRIP. Yesterday I spent 2 hours e-mailing senators, governors and congressmen to get them to see what's holding up the process.... all of them e-mailed me back that there is nothing they can do about a Homeland Security problem. It's out of their hands..... is this starting to sound like an "SS" World War ll scenario? "I  hear notink, I see nothink, I know nothink!". So I wait.

I have to say my most recent trip to 'the room' lasted only 15 minutes and they actually let Marshall sit with me this time..... but it's still the biggest waste of time, effort and money to stop ME. How terrifying is a short middle-aged Jewish broad with a shaved head and knitting needles? 

Obviously I scare the crap out of them.

xox
m

uch gross!

Hi,
it wasn't a matter of if, more an issues of when, but it was inevitable that I was going to take a dip in our pond sooner or later. Tonight 'sooner' happened. Oh Gross!

I decided that since it finally stopped pouring cats and dogs that I would tackle the weekly cleaning of the pond. It is a job and chore that I truly dislike. You have to scrub the sides & bottom of the pit with a long handled bristle brush then scoop out the algae and crud that is stirred up off the bottom. The fish love it because they get to play tag with the scrub brush and scoop net. I think it's a baits' version of the game "Marco Polo" and if you don't know what that means you haven't had to hang around the swimming pools in any resort listening to the kids all scream "Marco"  "Polo" for hours on end... it's why good strong martinis were designed... back to my bedtime story for tonight.

Some how one of the large stones from the perimeter of the pond had slipped into the middle of the water and I was using the long handled scrub brush to maneuver it  to where it was shallowest, planning to reach in and pull it out. The handle on the brush was less robust than I thought and as I was using it as leverage to move the stone, it bent in half, I slipped on the wet rocks (from all the rain, note above reference) and the next thing I know I'm looking up at the sky from the bottom of the lagoon. BLECH!

This is totally disgusting on so many levels. First I had been churning up all the crud by moving the stone around. Second, I hadn't started cleaning anything so it was slimy, oooooouuuuu. Third, the fish were looking at me like "this is our pond, bug off!". Lastly, it's just not fun falling into a fish pond with all your clothes, glasses, shoes, watch and jewelry on. The only redeeming note was  that there was no audience, but I thought the move could have at least rated a 4.2 from the Belgium judge for a quick recovery.

The rock is out. The pond is cleaner. The brush will have to be replaced. The fish wondered what the hell happened. I hope I didn't swallow any of that water.... revolting.

xox
m

we're on our way home

Hi,
It's Saturday morning in Aarhus and we're about to start the trek home. Unfortunately neighter of us slep all night but maybe we'll crash on the flight. I hope we don't get stuck with any screaming children near us, they usually sit right behind me, every time.

Aarhus was nice. It's not very warm here, highs of only 70 degrees during the day and sort of over cast. Summer in Denmark is fleeting and far from what I'm used to. Back to PA and the 90 degree weather. What a flip. People were very friendly in this town. I spent the days meandering around enjoying the clean streets and funky shops. Everything is very, very expensive so I just looked and gasped at the prices. Minimum wage here is over $20/hour but even then it's a fortune for everything. I don't know how they live here but the street are teaming with people and the restaurants are all pretty full... the economy is very healthy, unlike at home in the USA. We've been watching the market fall to pieces and the ratings drop through the floor. Europeans are shaking their heads at what's going on across the pond. It's not a pretty sight at all.

Time to boogie and start home. Future updates to follow once I'm back on American soil... for sale at half price this week, probably for 'free' soon

xox
m

the cost of Danish

hi,
day #2 and I'm having fun in Denmark. I walked over to the city swimming pool facility this morning. Everything is a 15 minute walk in this town, it's cute. I got a job offer right away. Seems everyone around the world is in need of swimming instructors. They didn't even care that I can't speak Danish. They were ready to hire me on the spot just for walking in and asking if they needed instructors. I'm set if we ever decide to live here. Minimum wage is $20/hour, nice! To put it in perspective, a dozen eggs cost $4, tomatoes are $5/lb and rib eye steak was $16/lb at the local grocery.... $20 doesn't go very far. A 1000sq.ft. apartment rents for $2500/month, gas is $10/gal and a beer is $6... okay the beer is pretty cheap but they MAKE it here (it's really good beer too).

Food. Food is my favorite thing about travelling around the world with Marshall. The hotel breakfast was awesome. Fresh eggs done any way you like, an assortment of muesilli cereals you'd never find at home, the bread is to die for, cheese... well I could stay and live on the fabulous cheese, organic yogourt, dried fruits, and my favorite herring! Don't say yuch at herring, it's not like the stuff they try to pawn off as herring in the USA. It's the real deal here. First, it's fresh. Second, it's not salty or vinegary. Third, it's the best herring I've ever tasted. Danish herring on rye bread is a diet I could live on eternally. We are going to a typical Danish restaurant for dinner (we didn't eat dinner last night since we had such a big late lunch and our body clocks were still in limbo). More on food later.

The art gallery was were I spent most of the day. I need a whole blog just to talk about what is here but it was a terrific gallery. I will get pictures out once we come home. My favorite things were the 'atmosphereic colour atlas' by Olafur Eliasson and the 'big boy' sculpture by Muesk. Google these and you'll see what I mean.

Time to dine. More to follow on our adventure in Aarhus (sometimes spelled Arhus, I haven't found out why there are 2 spellings, yet)

xox
m

Aarhus, Denmark

Hi,
we are in the land of windmills, smoked salmon and Danish. So far I think it's a great place to visit. Our flight was realitively easy. Newark to Amsterdam, Amsterdam, Billund Denmark. The taxi that was supposed to meet us in Billund didn't show up but a few phone calls later we had a car & driver getting us to Aarhus (about an hour's drive from the airport).

Aarhus is very quaint. Cobbled streets, low rise buildings, street sculpture and gelatto shops on every corner. They can afford to eat gelatto every block because everyone walks & cycles here to get anywhere,.Once we got settled we spent the afternoon wandering. It's a very small town and in just a few hours we were able to walk a good part of downtown. We ate at an outdoor cafe and had the best smoked salmon sandwich in the world. Fresh dark pumpernickle bread with a pile of dark greens & avocado topped with the yummiest salmon on top of it all. I'd stay just for the lox ("laks" in Danish... leave it to me to make my first word in Danish food of some sort).

Tomorrow I plan to roam the art gallery next door to our hotel, the 'old village' where they have moved a bunch of 14th & 15th century homes & buildings into an area to celebrate Danish history. I also hope to go to the royal grounds and check out the Queens gardens. She's out of town right now so the grounds are open to the public.... my royal invitation must have got lost in the mail. This place is really pretty. We ended up talking to this family in the park for over an hour this afternoon. He was Australian, she's from Aarhus, they have 2 little boys 2 &4 years old and his mom was visiting from Brisbane. We had a fun time talking to them about living here: taxes, the cost of living, politics, the great outdoor spaces, local gossip.... it's so interesting talking to locals and ex-pats about a place. It gives you insight and a true perspective. All useful info. The dad turned out to be an engineer so he & Marshall had a great time... his wife shouted "nerd allert" when they realized they were both engineers. It was a terrific chance meeting.

Everyone speaks excellent English, I feel stupid not being able to speak any Danish but no one seems to care. I will have to get brave and test out my bad pronunciation of things on menues or maps. The worst they could do is laugh. Danish is not easy to follow and of course they all speak it at warp speed. Signage is all in Danish but I'm able to follow the map with no problems. Shops and restaurants are all easy to get help in English, menues are mostly in Danish but have photos of the food.... I'm not going to starve at all.

Time to crash, tomorrow more from across the pond
xox
m

sleepless nights

Hi,
the joke in my family used to be that Eric (my brother) and I could sleep through anything, including a fire... which we did at our cottage when we were kids. As the neighbouring cottage burned to the ground one early morning, and everyone in the area ended up in our place with crying kids, panicked moms and fire fighters all over the place, Eric & I slept soundly. Those days are long gone.

Now the least little thing wakes me. That would be fine if I had my husbands' talent for falling back asleep. I don't. I'm up and my brain goes in to hyper-mode churning over the dumbest things at 3am. Is there anything ever 'smart' to think about at 3am? Laundry, food shopping lists, bill paying, chirping crickets, the pain in my neck, I can't shut any of it out. I do get a lot of reading done, sometimes I knit, rarely do I bother trying to find a decent old movie to watch. Is any of this worth losing sleep over? No, but my brain and my body are in total disconnect. I am physically tired, my head just isn't playing along with the program. On nights like these I'd sign up for a lobotomy if I thought it would help.

I never used to understand adults complaining about 'not sleeping'. Who cared? Sleep was easy, close your eyes, call the Sandman, game over. Up until I got sick with cancer I never had sleeping issues. Since then I have joined the realm of the waking dead-heads. Sleep deprivation is ugly and it hurts. Where I used to take 8 hours of shut-eye for granted now I'm thrilled if I get more than 6 in a night. Naps don't work. I'm not able to shut off during the day any better than I am at night and if I do sleep mid-day then I'm off kilter the rest of the time and my body clock doesn't know where it's supposed to be set. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The only thing that seems to work is if I can get my body so whacked out from physical work I drop off the edge of conscientiousness without enough strength to keep myself awake one second longer. Gardening, swimming, house cleaning, pond scrubbing are all useful for tiring me out. Marshall thinks I'm a compulsive clean freak but I just think it's the only way to exhaust myself enough to get some rest.... with a touch of 'water addiction' thrown into the fray. This works for a few nights but not always. Pills aren't a good answer. The drug residue is unkind the next day and I'm not a good addict. I'd rather clean the bathtub at 2am than try sleeping pills.

Eventually I do run out of steam but the cycle starts to build again after one or two nights and then I'm awake looking for something to do. Tonight it's blogging. We'll see if that knocks me out. Doubt it. Now I'm wide awake and in typing mode.

What I wouldn't give for those 8-9 hour stretches of blissful unawareness. Oh look.... a fire!

xox
m

my words

Hi,
it's all about the feedback. Without some input from the public at large you have no idea if you are spitting into the wind or hitting a target with the bomb. I write for the enjoyment of putting words down. I thank Mrs. Joiner, my grade 9 English teacher at Lawrence Park Collegiate for this pleasure. She loved words. Any words. Mrs. Joiner thought that the pen was mightier than the sword in so many ways, and that there was nothing funnier than a good pun.

What did the salmon say when he swam up to the wall?
"Dam"

See, you laughed, I know you did. Even without me standing beside you, I have the means to make you smile, giggle, cry, think, express, wonder or react... and it only took 'words'. Now THAT is power!

When a speech is delivered, it is always a success when the words being delivered have a meaningful message behind them, or they are funny, or both. Comedians are some of the best writers and speech makers. Lenny Bruce was one of the first modern comics to take humor and try to express his message of anger at the established up-tight society of the time. His messages where usually found shocking, and got him thrown in jail more than once but his delivery of words were what many people feared to say out loud. When the  audience heard Lenny scream obscenities about the stupid way government was handling things they roared with laughter. It was what they all wanted to say but didn't the the forum to. Bruce opened up the possibility of getting people to explode about what they locked up inside themselves. He certainly did explode.

Great comedic writers like Steve Allen, George Carlin, Woody Allen, Lewis Black, all have a gift with both seeing the sublime and putting it into humorous writing... but they also made us think. The philosophers of our day are our comedians. They have honed the art of showing the foibles in society, making us aware but at the same time getting to the funny side and causing less harm in doing so. It's all about the words.... so I put them down in this blog. I hope they make you think Mrs. Joiner did an okay job in teaching me about the power of words. It's all about the feedback.

xox
m

one hundred degrees

hi,
it's hot. How hot is it, you ask? Are you kidding... if you are anywhere in North America you are feeling the direct effect of Global Warming or 'revenge of Al Gore' as I have come to think of it. This was all his idea, like the Internet was, right?

I arrived home from my stay in Toronto to a house that obviously missed me. Marshall held the fort down just fine, what a guy, but the minute I got in, the place went to hell in a hand basket fast. Thursday morning, as I made my way down to the laundry room I was greeted by a swamped floor in the basements' unfinished area. I couldn't tell if the air conditioner had leaked, the dehumidifier was on a temper tantrum or the sump-pump had given out... or all of the above. I had to run upstairs to find the plumbers phone number (water equals plumber issues in my mind) and as I passed the heating-A/C control panel I saw the temperature in the house was already over 80°.. and it was 9:30am. Okay, I get the hint, leaving home is like leaving an untrained puppy to run around and pee everywhere or pull all the toilet paper off the rolls.....

Our plumber shows up a few hours after I call for help. The floor drain in the basement is totally blocked. Could it be that the burst water tank 6 months ago, or the expansion tank leak last month cause a lot of crap to build up in the pipe? Maybe the whole house hates me? The plumber has no success snaking out the drain, he gives me a number to a "Power Rooter" operation who has bigger and more powerful snakes. I in no way want to start any rumors about the size of my plumbers snake not being long enough, he's great guy and I'm sure his wife is happy with his equipment. The Power Rooter men are successful in cleaning out the floor drain and getting water to flow again. All I have to do is wash the floor for the 4th time. On to the A/C problem.

My plumber rescues me again by having a great A/C company for me to contact. They send out a repairman within 2 hours of my call. Nick is now my latest best-buddy. He tops up the air conditioner unit with F22 (freon?) and comments on liking the huge 1950's freezer in the basement. If he ever talks his girlfriend into letting him have it, he's coming back to take the sucker apart and put it in his house, power to him!  It weighs 2 tonnes. The house is now happy. The basement is dry, the A/C has our house back to a livable temperature of 78° and all it took was a little sweat and a lot of money. Own a house, write out cheques, it's the way of the world.

At least we can hide indoors in the conditioned splendor... that is until the power goes out again. The 100° heat has caused power overloads to black us out in the early evening. Sushi by candle light worked out perfectly last night for dinner. I had made the rice in the afternoon while waiting around for service men to appear. Timing is everything.... especially when it's hot.

xox
m

my first obituary

hi,
this is a sad day for our clan. One of our favorite family members took his own life yesterday and we are all devastated.

Is it appropriate to write an obit on my blog? I have no idea but I have to put this down in writing somewhere and this seemed as good a place as any.

Michael Herman, 62, loved by all who met him and knew him. Literally.
No one seemed stronger or more gentle than Michael. I met him when I was in Grade 8. My cousin, Mary Ellen brought him to our family Passover Seder that year and I fell in love with him. He sat next to me at the Seder table and spent the whole time talking to me as if I was the most important person in the world. He had that way about him that was focused and engaging. Michael also remembered the 8th grade history text book, practically verbatim, even though he was 10 years older than me. We discussed Henry VIII and all his wives. He was better than my history teacher. "Brilliant" was the adjective that described him. I was hooked for life on Michael Herman.

Michael and Mary Ellen married (I was so jealous she got him before I even had a chance), and had three fabulous children, Jacob, Rebeca & Elizabeth. They suffered loosing 'Lizzie' to a rare blood disorder that she battled her whole life of almost 12 years. Michael became the family rock. he got everyone through Lizzie's passing away. Always saying the right thing and comforting the world. He took care of us all. That was how we survived, Michael made the hurt go away, seemingly absorbing your pain into him and never showing any signs of his own needs.

In the movie, The Green Mile, the main character is a huge man who has healing powers and saves people from their physical traumas. Michael was like that too. Larger than life, encompassing of everyones' grief, pain or sorrow. In the film the character finally succumbs and is relieved to die himself. He had had enough of trying to heal everyone and couldn't take the pain anymore. Maybe Michael was feeling like that, making his decision to take his own life, because he was too full to carry any more hurt inside. We will never know, and that is the pain that we will all carry for Michael the rest of our lives.

xox
m

100 miles

Hi,
I have to tell you about Dr. Robert Gryfe, he's my dad's surgeon at Mount Sinai. An interesting guy.....

Dr. Gryfe is 45 years old but looks about 26. Tall 6'2", very lean, short dark hair, funky eyeglasses and a great sense of humor. I thought my dad got it wrong when he told me Dr.G. runs 100 miles in one day. I was sure he heard it incorrectly. Nope, that is exactly what was said. Dr.G. runs 100 miles (or more) in ONE day.

When I met the doctor for the first time on Tuesday my first impression was "He's the surgeon?" Robert looked like a complete nerd loping around the pre-op area and far too young for this job... more like a computer geek in high school. Wrong on all accounts. He's the best at this surgery according to the head nurses and they know!

After talking to my dad about the operation he was about to perform, and being very respectful to me, I had to ask him about the running-thing.
"100 miles a day, really?"
"yup, but not every day."
"That's good to hear, so you're not totally crazy, just occasionally nuts."
"yup"
I like this guy!

Turns out he's into 'extreme sport running marathons'. That's an understatement. He got into running in med school and never stopped, like Forest Gump I guess. He runs 15 minute miles during these events (hey, I can run that! only 3 in a row, not 100) and it can take him any where from 24-36 hours at a time. Yes, he runs for a full day or more at one time. Let me print that again for all of you who are still shaking your head.... at ONE time! I had a hard time imagining this also. His favorite race was in Death Valley, in 120° heat, for 30 hours. It's called "The Death Race"... can you guess why? Duh!

Over the last 2 days I have quizzed Robert on his need to do these races. He does as many as 5 in a year... not crazy just once, but multiple times, oy vey. He says that it's not about speed, because he certainly isn't a fast runner, it's the endurance that he likes. I think he's addicted to salt, or punishment, maybe both. I know he's a doctor but I can't believe he would abuse his body this way. Okay, I am jealous of his long legs but I wouldn't be trying to wear them out so quickly if they were mine.   

He is a great surgeon, dad is doing wonderful, and one very nice man with a perfect bedside manor. Yesterday when we talked about his running he told us about his zaidie (grandfather). Zaidie asked Robert one day (use a strong European-Jewish accent when you read this)
"So, when you run these races, do you run on a course?"
''yeah Zadie"
"So you start at one end... and you end up at the same place you started?"
"yeah Zadie, back at the beginning again... "
"You run 100 miles, only to end up where you started? So why run? Mishuga*!"
Those of you with Zaidies will completely understand that conversation and why we laughed so hard in hearing Robert re-tell it.

xox
m
*"Mishuga" translates into "crazy"in Yiddish, in case you didn't figure it out for yourself  ;)

the great white north

Hi,
I'm in Toronto, and even though the circumstances aren't the best, I'm loving it.

Dad is in the hospital and had a chunk of his colon with cancer removed yesterday. The surgery was successful, at least the surgeon was happy with his job. We will get pathology results in a few weeks and hopefully all the cancer was removed, the lymph nodes are clear and he can get one with his next issue, kidney stones! They (the doctors) have already scheduled dad for a procedure in August to get the stones out of him. We're hoping he's well enough by then to deal with a second surgery. The man is a dynamo but he's also almost 84 years old.... we'll see what happens. One thing at a time.

I'm getting my mom down to the hospital and home every day. This is not an easy task: dealing with the wheel chair, her lack of mobility, Toronto traffic.... oy vey. It's also "summer", the season of road repair in the Great White North. Every major and minor route in the city is under construction, renovation, re-building, paving or just generally messed up for the fun of it. Can you say "head ache"? I can. Where does the city think the traffic will go if they close all the road down to ½ a lane each way? I guess the new Mayor Rob Ford doesn't care, he's up at his family cottage in Bracebridge, away from this mess.

Speaking of the 'mayor', he is on every gay persons' sh*t list for skipping the Gay Pride Week Parade last week. It's a huge deal here with over 1 million attendees.. everyone gay, straight, families and friends come out to celebrate and party. It's a blast. Rob Ford made a conscience decision to avoid it and he's the first mayor of T.O. who has not attended the event in some manor. Shame on him. The gay community in Toronto is fabulous and should be supported in my view. They have turned parts of this city into some of the coolest real estate in the country with restaurants, shops and real pride of ownership for everything they touch.

To zing the mayors' homophobia someone produced 20,000 pink postcards with a chubby beaver on it saying: "Mayor Rob Ford Likes Cottaging".
"Cottaging" is British gay slang for anonymous sex between men in public lavatories. Gotcha baby!  

On the up-side: I took mom to get her hair cut to my old stylist, Gavin. He is magic with scissors and mom loved her cut & him. I had lunch at Kow Loon, one of my most delicious Chinese restaurants. Heaven. Yesterday I walked Kensington Market, buying raisins, apricots and almonds at an outdoor bulk food stand, visited my favorite cheese shop just for the aroma and people-watched on Spadina in Chinatown. This weekend is the Outdoor Art Show at City Hall where over 500 artists set up their wares for browsing and sale. I'm planning on walking the show for a few hours..... I miss this city, more than I realized.

Time to crash, tomorrow is another day of running around and hospital sitting.

xox
m