Knitting for the "Bigs"

Hi,
I knit, a lot. It is an obsession of mine. I no longer make things for myself, after 40 years my drawers and closets are full. I look to knit for other people who want or need things. Baby stuff, kid stuff, adult stuff, even dog stuff. I would knit for cats too but they seem to have an aversion to anything that needs putting over their head... But I digress.

Recently I was asked to make a sweater for a man, a big man. No problem. Size is never an issue for my needles. This gentleman is 6'5" so the sweater back measurement was 38" long. The inside arm seam measurement was 23". The sweater used up almost 8lbs. of heavy yarn. I don't know this person, I am a friend of his mother, so I was knitting 'sight unseen' for a guy who lives on the other side of the continent. The sweater was his Christmas gift and I have been told that he is thrilled with it and that it fits perfectly. This got me thinking. How many other large people are out there who need custom knitwear? The whole NBA for one!

The Miami Heat may not be interested in my product. Florida weather does not really lend itself to sweater wearing. I need to target the northern teams like the Toronto Raptors or the Boston Celtics. New York, Brooklyn, Chicago, Cleveland, all potential customers. Kobe could probably use a little cheering up so he might like a cozy garment to wear on the sidelines. I would let every player pick and design their own apparel piece. They seem to grumble about being told what to wear on and off the court but I'm sure the NBA would approve my creations. Basketball guys all design their own running shoes and headphones so why not a sweater? I bet their moms don't have the time to knit one for them since they have to go to games all the time and cheer their boys on.

I am also open to the WNBA. Tall women have the same problem as the men. Finding clothes to fit is a bitch when you are not a perfect size 6. I can fix that! Sweaters are just a start. Hats, gloves, mitts, coats, bikinis, it can all be made out of fiber to fit like it was made for them, because it is.

This niche market is my target of choice because.... Well, just because. I'm the other extreme size. I feel their pain and frustration with clothing but at least I can shop in the children's department when I need jeans or t-shirts. The "bigs" have no where to look but custom made apparel.

Come on Kobe, Lebron, Brook and Metta.... Bring it on! Long arms, endless torsos and necks the size of tree trunks don't scare me. I have knitting needles in YOUR size!

M

Sailing, sailing, over the salty seas...

Hi,
Do you know the ditty "Sailing, sailing"? We sang it at day camp as kids, it has hand actions to match the lyrics, I loved it.  I have just come off the "salty sea" from 13 nights of cruising the Atlantic, Barcelona to Fort Lauderdale and it was magnificent! Dad wanted to get from Toronto to Marco Island for the winter season via a cruise from Europe and I was his cruise buddy for the adventure.

Royal Caribbean, Legend of the Seas, 70,000 ton ship, 2000 passenger capacity (only about 1400 for this crossing) a ship built in 1995, recently refurbished but looking its age none the less. This turned out to be a very, very geriatric cruise. I was at the youngest range of the age group, only two children on the whole ship. Mika (4) and Emma (2) became ship 'rock stars' with a captive audience of grandparents aboard. Dad loved everything about the trip. We started with three nights in Barcelona, meeting up with my new friend Evelyn from Houston. She he joined us on the cruise, her very first ship adventure and she is now a new convert to the love of cruising.  After touring Barcelona, which we all loved, it was onto the Legend and into the wild blue yonder.

We stopped in Allecante, Malaga, Funchal and Tenerife before hitting the high seas for seven nights of straight sailing. Dad only likes the sailing days, not the port stops. We did get him off the ship to walk around but he would rather hang on the ship for the most part. The food was good, not the best I have ever had, but not terrible. The ship amenities are rather limited since it is one of the smaller ships in the RC fleet. Dad didn't like the tiny sauna on this boat. He has now learned that he needs a 140,000 ton ship to get the size steam room he needs. No more baby boats for him! He has already booked two more Atlantic crossings for 2014, one on the Oasis ship, a mega 5400 passenger, 240,000 ton monstrosity for next fall. I bet the steam room on that sucker fits the bill.

Our dinner table mates were a bit of a challenge. The first problem was the size of our table, 14 chairs! You couldn't talk to anyone because they were so far away from you. For the first 4 nights, people kept ditching our table and moving to other dining spots... We were starting to worry about how offensive we might be to chase way so many guests. Finally we settled into two couples from the USA, two couples originally from Cuba and the three of us... A motley crowd to say the least. We made it work.

The entertainment at night in the main show was passable but the ship went to bed at 10pm with not much to do, almost no one to talk with and certainly no one to party with. It's the first cruise I have ever been on with absolutely NO night life. Oh well. The crew loved it since they could quit early and go below for their own fun and frolic. I did get to dance once with a crew member who would have loved to take me to a staff party to dance, but it is strictly forbidden to let guest member below deck with crew. Drats! Banished to the upper decks with the Geritol set.

I have endless cruising tales to tell.... But you will have to buy the book.

Xox
M

Learn to kvetch

Hi,
My mother was a kvetch on an epic scale. For those who don't know what that is, literally it is 'one who complains' in Yiddish. In reality, it really expresses the act of voicing an opinion that may not sit well with others, eg; companies with policies that you don't like. Mom brought kvetching to an art. One I can only dream of matching her style, but I try.

I refuse to let big business get the better of me, so I kvetch. My last two kvetch rants garnered us money in our pocket. Kvetching can be for the good when used for the right purpose and what better purpose than to get some cash.

First, credit cards abuse. I found out the hard way that almost every US credit card has implemented a 3% -5% up charge for using their cards outside the USA. That is a charge that adds up very quickly for a lot of money. Coming back from India with new gold bangles I discovered a $72 additional charge on our VISA card. Three phone calls later I had it credited back to our account but not without a fight and a threat to cancel the card and close our account. Kvetching payed off in the tune of $72 dollars.

My second kvetch dealt with credit card points (are you seeing a trend here yet?). We received a letter from Wells Fargo that our points were going to expire. What points? Seems like they had implemented a purchase/points system while I wasn't paying attention. Okay, my bad, I should read more of the trash they email me. I called the bank to find out what to do with these points, only to hear the they had already expired 32,000 of the 47,000 points I didn't even know I had. Two calls later I had the points reinstated and cashed out to the tune of $450 dollars in our pocket. Yet again showing that kvetching can pay off.

"If you don't ask, you don't get" was my mothers motto. I have learned to ask, and keep asking until I get what I want, the way I want it. It doesn't always go the way I plan but I have a fairly good success rate. There is no shame in kvetching. I think it is more shameful not to get what is fair and right. So kvetch! Go ahead, I give you all permission to complain. It just may keep the ship sailing on an even keel.

Xox
M

Yet another reason to love Canada

Hi,
The Canadian banking system rocks... But it is a secret, so don't tell anyone.

While shopping in India a couple of months ago, not only did my US VISA card get declined because I hadn't notified them of our travel plans (at least the shop owners knew enough to call VISA, have me identify myself, and get the transaction to go through) but when I got the bill a month later there was a 3% 'up charge' for all purchases made outside the USA. Holy crap Batman, that starts to add up quickly. I was able to call VISA, bitch, and get the charge reversed this one time. Fine, but what happens when I leave the USA and have to use a credit card to pay for a hotel, food, travel, chachkas? Time to shop around for a different card.

VISA said it was a Wells Fargo charge that they had no control over. Wells Fargo said its a VISA thing they have no control over. They both give me a headache. Marshall's credit union that he banks with only charges  a 1% up charge for purchases outside the USA. Better, but still annoying. I call my bank manager in Canada. Silvana knows everything. She has never heard of this 'up charge for forgein purchases on a VISA and is pretty sure VISA in Canada isn't doing this. I call VISA in Canada this morning and get it straight from the horses mouth (my phone contact is really a very sexy sounding French Canadian guy named Patrick) who says quite definitely there is no charge for using my VISA anywhere in the world other than the exchange rate for the purchase. I do get charge $5 for every cash advance at an ATM outside the country and the late payment interest fee is 3% higher if I am late in payment. Pay the VISA in full on or before the due date and there are no extra fees at all. Yeah Canada!

I do hope that more VISA customers in the US complain about this up charge, otherwise the credit card will continue on its merry way abusing its customers. Remember Bank of America backed down from some user fee after millions of people threatened to drop their service? It can be controlled, but only if you kvetch a little... Or a lot. Complaining is not fun but sometimes it is necessary not to just lie down and take it. You can always move money into Canada and set up an account there, tell them 'Marilyn sent you'. Canada, the nice country.

Xox
M

Five Years, almost....

Hi,
I just finished my last round of PET scans at UPenn and nothing showed up. Yippee! This means I am still cancer-free and have remained so for the last five years (I am just shy of that exact date but close enough to brag).

It is traumatic to go and have these tests done, to say nothing of the costs. I do not plan to do this any more. Five years is plenty of time for the melanoma to grow back and it hasn't so I am not going looking for it again. I see my dermatologist regularly and even he hasn't found anything to snip off me in over a year. I now not only see the light at the end of the tunnel, I feel the fresh air too.

Yes, I am a ticking time bomb, but we all are in one way or another. I heard a doctor talk about how cancer is not a noun any more, it is a verb. Our bodies are 'cancering' is how we should be thinking and discussing the whole issue of the illness. We don't catch it like the flu, we produce it ourselves. This is now causing the medical profession to think about how cancer is being delt with and treated. Maybe they will really start looking for why our bodies start to 'cancer' themselves.

All I know is that mine has stopped cancering for the time being. If I could figure out where the switch is I would shut it off permanently. I think that is the key to the whole problem, finding the switch. The rest is just treating the symptoms and fallout thereafter. My residual issues of osteoporosis, neuritis in my neck and a dropping shoulder from the surgery, chemo and radiation treatments seem like a small price to pay for beating the cancering in my body, but they are no fun to live with either. Fix one thing, break two others.

Looking back is easy. Would I have made the same choices knowing what I do now? Probably not. Would I have been able to look back five years? Maybe, maybe not. I don't get the crystal ball to look ahead either. One day at a time.... Just keep the keel in the water and head toward the light.

Xox
M

Kiddie Couture

Hi,

I knit. I knit a lot, and often, and compulsively. It's my therapy of choice. The only problem is there is only so many items of clothing I need, or want, to own. Therefore, I need bodies to clothe. I'm always on the hunt for new victims to make something for. Thank goodness my friends have finally started to become grandparents. I now have an endless supply of cute grandchildren to create hats, mitts, booties, blankets, sweaters, coats, dolls, socks, wraps and anything else they can think of with some fiber and knitting needles.

I have been knitting for over 40 years. I got started because my mother and grandmother always sat and knit in the evening while watching TV. I loved the sound of the needles clicking away. The problem was it never seemed to be 'my turn' to get a sweater. There was a pecking order depending on who grew out of what... and I didn't grow much so it was never my turn to get a new sweater since last years sweater still fit me just fine. Rats! So I decided to make my own sweater. I snuck a pair of knitting needles out of my mothers collection with a ball of yarn and found a book that showed how to get started, and off I went. A week later I was showing my mom what I had managed to figure out on my own. She then took up fine tuning my craft. How to hold the wool to even out my tension, how to read a pattern, casting on and off stitches and the tricks to finishing up a piece so that it looked as good from the inside as it did on the outside. The toughest lesson of all is how to rip out. Ripping out, what you have just spent hours creating, is the hardest part of learning to knit. It is painful to watch all that time and work unravel, but as any great knitter will tell you, it's a way of life for a true crafter. Leaving in mistakes, dropped stitches, or funky mishaps are the ultimate sin. Each piece needs to be perfect or the whole project looks like crap. You learn to rip, fix the errors and move on.

Knitting for children is the most fun. The funkier the piece the cuter it looks. Colours can be wild. Ears on hats, faces on mittens, bobbles, bells and whistles, they all work on kids clothes. Fun, fun, fun and it's fast work. Knitting a man size sweater is several months of labor, a sweater with a hood for a two year old I can knock off in a week or two of casual knitting. Three days if I really put the pedal to the metal. Hats or baby mittens can be finished in a few hours. I can get a a whole ensemble done during a marathon of Law & Order episodes. Lennie Briscoe inspires me to knit faster, I have no idea why.

Kid couture is my latest passion. One-of-kind children fashions. I fancy myself the Coco Channel of the under 5 set, without the little black dress. My audience is small and I like them that way. I have my own label that I sew into every garment with my name on it. I am my own brand and a select clientele own and wear my pieces. Total couture in every way since each garment is unique and made completely by my hands. Bring on your best Baby Gap, you can't hold a candle to me and my knitting needles.

xox
M

Fresh Garden Ganooshe

Hi,
I love to cook and create in the kitchen. It's a hobby, a passion, a tension release and it's a cheap way to stay fed as opposed to eating in restaurants three meals a day.... yes, there are people out there who choose to eat like that, you know who you are and so does your doctor.

Todays' recipe is straight from the garden. Not mine, but I do belong to a CSA group (community supported agriculture) and Wednesdays' I pick up fresh produce. Every week is a little different variety, the selection last week included:
tomatillo
small tomatoes
Chinese eggplant
onion.... and some other stuff.
I decided to roast it all with a head of garlic that was on it's last legs.
I split everything open, covered it in a little olive oil, salt, pepper and dried garden herbs from last summer  and threw it on a cookie sheet, into a 400° oven for 30 minutes.
When it had cooled,  I then put everything into my Cuisinart plus a little more olive oil and some sorrel from my garden, pulverizing it all to a mush. It came out fabulous!
It's a cross between a salsa verde and baba ganooshe. Totally yummy as a dip, a spread, a condiment or just on it's own.

Eating healthy is what it is all about. I try. I do have my downfalls like chocolate or rich desserts but they are a treat rather than part of my diet. I have my fill of green leafy vegetables daily, bread less than once a week, my choice of dairy is a yoghourt or occasional  hard white cheeses. No red meat, lots of fish and chicken once a week. I like to stick to grains like quinoa or buckwheat. I could be the poster child for healthy dieting. I even make a conscience decision to use smaller plates so that my portions are controlled..... you would think with all this effort I should look like a skinny-mini but I am far from it. My weight doesn't fluctuate much, 3-5lbs up in the winter, 3-5lbs down in the summer but it's because I watch everything that goes into my mouth. It's a constant battle.

Cooking helps me keep my weight under control and make smarter eating choices. Try it, you may like it.

xox
m

...but it's not a 'time-share'

Hi,
We had a weird sense of the ridiculous... We like to torture ourselves by sitting through the "90 minute presentation" in hopes of getting great free stuff. The Time-Share Scam is our chosen form of comedy entertainment for this purpose on occasion.

Our honeymoon in Key West Florida scored us $100, dinner at a nice seafood restaurant and a kayak ride around the island, all for spending a couple of hours not being impressed with the concept and frustrating the poor saleswoman who needed to fill her quota of suckers for the day.

A tip to Las Vegas got us a tour of the property, yet to be built, of the Hard Rock Cafe time-share where for $500,000 you got a glitzy shoe box to stay in. We walked away with $200 in casino chips for our effort which Marshall then turned into $175 in cash at the blackjack table... The glitch was you had to use the $25 chips at their casino, you couldn't just cash them in, so he had eight hands of blackjack to play and in 15 minutes at the table we had cash, and split.

Last week I received a letter looking like it was from US Air telling me we were elidgable for two free airline tickets. I called to see what the deal was to redeem this fabulous offer..... The very nice young man I spoke with told me it "was not a time-share", but a new concept in travel agency looking to promote itself. Austin repeated "It was not a time-share" at least four times in our conversation, so I knew it was some sort of time-share, me thinks thou doest protest too much, came to mind.

Off we go 2 nights later, to the wilds of north-east Philadelphia to a commercial business park with bad lighting. No signage on the door at the address is my first clue to this fly-by-night operation. Sure enough, its a time-share show! I have to say the presentation was more entertaining than most. Our group of elidgable couples was more than willing to play the game and the two men making the pitch were completely believable in their senserity.

The product, for $159 a week, gets you into a vacation property,  it its not a time share.  A one bedroom condo unit of at least 1200 sq.ft., not right at DisneyWorld but close enough for us to shuttle you there. Las Vegas only gets you 3 nights for the $159 and you lose the rest of the week but hey, it's Vegas! Oh, and did we forget to mention the $389 yearly membership fee, but you only pay that if you take a vacation, its "optional". Air fare?  Yes we can book it all for you, no savings there but your week away will only cost you the $159 dollars for your room. Wait, now we need to hit you up for the 'joining ' fee. $11,900 gets you up to four week of vacation spots and your life time membership and its FOREVER. Your kids and grandchildren with love you eternally as you saddle them with this thing when you pass on.

But wait, there's more!

Our special offer tonight bring the membership fee down to our reduced rate of only $8,900 if you
will sign on the dotted line right now!

By the time we left, the price had shrunk to $6,900, for the first two new members to sign on, just because we all were such wonderful people. We even had the VP presenter personally do us a big favor by offering a special one week deal for $2,900... You do the math.

The only bummer was once I read the brochure on how to collect our free airline tickets for participating, it wasn't anywhere near free. A $4.95 processing fee was listed up front, but on the back the fine print had a $50 fee per ticket attached, plus black out dates, restricted flight accessibility, taxes, license and everything else they could think of was not included. Hell for that aggravation I can use airmile points and get where I need to with less hassle.

Oh well
But it's not a time-share.

M

Pool Princess

Hi,
Yesterday I rediscovered that I am really,and truly, a Pool Princess.

Some how, along the way, I must have misplaced my tiara and ermine cape but it has been returned and I am back in the swing of things.

I spent the morning teaching swimming so you would think that my water royalty position would have been securely in place, but it wasn't until I joined my subjects, outside by the water slide that I regained my kingdom. I was with my people and all was fine in the glorious region of sunshine and sun screen.

The club where I teach swimming added a 4 acre 'water park' to the property this summer. I have been avoiding it. I can't sit in the sun any more, it is full of slides, spraying fountains, dumping water buckets and screaming children so there is no attraction for me to spend time there.... But my friend, Angela, asked if I could get her and her two boys in for the day so I was happy to oblige. It is bloody expensive to bring guests in, but they have been running an employee special for reduced guests' rates this month making the fee almost reasonable.... If you consider $20/adult and $10/child 'a bargain'. The regular fee is $30/adult and $20/child.... And people have been gladly paying it!

After I finished my lessons indoors I ventured out to join Angela and her boys. They were having lunch by the pool at the outdoor restaurant, also part of this new addition. It is also not cheap dining but the food was good and then the guys were off, back in the pool and we went to sit in the shade. It was fun just to sit outside and gab, the afternoon disappearing as kids played. The chaos of the water park seemed almost manageable since I don't have to deal with it, Brandi, my aquatic director boss, does.... And she does it excellently. Even when an older woman slipped and cracked her head open in the zero-entry pool (I have no idea how she did that trick), bleeding all over the place causing Brandi to have to shut down the water activities, the place was calm and organized. The life guards got everyone out of the water, EMT's were called, first aid was administered and the whole place was back in the swing of things in 20 minutes. The down time of the closed pool was spent reapplying sunscreen and buying flavored Sno-cones at $2 a pop. This place is a money-making machine!

Then there is the bar. There is a pool for the "21 and older" crowd that has luxury lounges, a hot tub, pool and the all important bar. As I left, Angela and her girlfriend were contemplating how long they should wait before ordering margaritas and martinis..... Is 3:00 too early to start the party? Husbands were showing up later to meet up with everyone. Waiting would be so much nicer with a cool, bright colored drink in their hands. I could hear the cash register chiming in the background. It was time to wave at my subjects and depart the sunburnt crowds. I was done for the day.

It was lovely sitting by an outdoor pool again. I used to have a great time in Fort Wayne when we had a pool in the complex we lived in. I didn't realize how much I missed the smell of evaporating chlorine and the noise of splashing kids. I will be back to reign again over my subjects and domain.... Ear plugs in hand next time.

Xox
M

Litter Demons

Hi,
We live on a lovely street. It is tree lined and dotted with grand homes. It is a quiet neighborhood and we love it. What we don't love are the pigs who think they can drive by and dump their trash out their car windows onto our lawn.

Why?
Why do they think that the world is their garbage can?
Why don't they dispose of their trash in a proper fashion, in their own disposal units at home?
Why do I have to clean up their mess?

We have come up with a great solution, all I need is my engineer husband to build it.

We need a camera at the end of our driveway to catch the license plate numbers as trash offenders drive by and dump on our lawn. Then, as their car is caught on video, the fun begins. They trigger a paintball gun to release as they drive away, leaving them with a reminder that every action has a reaction... You splash our property with refuse, we splash your car with a paintball parting party favor.... With any luck it leaves a dent or cracks a window too. Just a little reminder that you need to be respectful of others or pay the consequences. Last, but not least, the ticket arrives in the mail with a hearty fine for littering the streets of Yardley, PA.

We hope to patent the whole process.... Clean up the litterers and their debris plus help the township make a little cash on the whole thing. I think it's a win-win idea all around.

I bet we can sell a million of them too!

Xox
M

birthdays

hi,
Birthdays always seem to sneak up on you. One minute you are gently rolling along at a certain age, then "BAM", you are one year older. You probably don't feel any different and you try to tell yourself 'it's just a number' but that doesn't seem to lessen the burden of the addition to your ticking metronome.

I like my birthday.

As a kid we always had small parties to celebrate. I got to invite 4 or 5 friends over for lunch (we walked home from school for lunch every day). My mother would make my favorite rolled party sandwiches, some with tuna, some with egg salad, little gherkin pickles in the middle. Store bought birthday cake with crappy, sugary icing, even though my mom could bake something better from scratch, it wasn't "special" if it didn't have fancy flowered icing on top. After lunch I got to open my presents from my friends and family. Sometimes I thought the presents were exactly what I wanted, other times not so much.... One special gift was an autograph book. I forget who gave it to me but I thought it was so cool. Who's autograph was I going to get in Toronto in 1966? Who cared, I got all my teachers and classmates to sign it and was delighted with my collection. Walking back to school with my friends from birthday lunch was usually the best part. We were saturated with food and drink (real chocolate milk causes such a sugar rush), ready to run around the play yard before crashing out half way through the afternoon class. Now that's what I call a 'birthday bash'!

This year my special party was with my family in Toronto. It was my first birthday that my mom didn't call to say 'happy birthday' and send me a gift. I got 53 birthdays with her and I think that is great. I'm sorry she isn't going to make the parties anymore. She loved creating a big to-do about everyone's birthday. It's no longer about the gifts you receive but about marking the passing of time together.... And that's better than having an autograph book any day.

Another year and still counting.

Xox
M

A Rod

Hi,
This evening my husband met fame, he shook the hand of Alex Rodriguez.

ARod played in Trenton, NJ tonight with the Trenton Thunders. Being on the disabled list has him bumped down to the minors until he is healed from his hip surgery. This is a minor problem compared to his possible suspension or permanent banishment from Major League Baseball. If you have been living under a rock lately, Alex is under the magnifying glass over steroid taking and could become the poster child for punishment due to doping.... Never the less, the stands were packed in Trenton tonight.

Most of the fans who came out were happy to see him and cheered his presents. There were a few, two in particular who sat right behind us, who booed as loudly as they could when he hit the field. It takes all kinds. We got to see ARod hit a home run, and strike out, but mostly we got to see him hold his head up, face his fans, sign a lot of autographs and look like he owned third base again.

Just before they pulled him out of the game he walked down toward our seats, we were 7 rows from the front, just past first base. Marshall jumped up and went to shake his hand. He got to Alex as a rush of fans came to get his picture and autograph on balls, shirts and caps but was able to get his hand into Alex's before the onslaught. Young and old alike all clamored for attention and Alex graciously dealt with it all as best he could. Then he was gone to the back and his time in the game was done for the night.

I think this was the best $12 ticket Marshall ever invested in. He came back to his seat grinning ear to ear. Mission accomplished. We came, we saw, we didn't get hit by a fly ball, we left happy.

Baseball been berry berry good to me....

Xox
M

the back ache begins....

Hi,
It's spring and my chiropractor is rubbing her hands in delight. It's 'back ache season' again.

Today I spent a measly five hours outside and it looks like nothing happened. I planted the front step planters with mums and heather. I threw some lettuce seeds in with the sedum... its kosher, I think, to mix and match plants and vegetables. Repotted the cactus pear in a new pot, the old one cracked over the winter and tidied up the back corner spot where only weeds seem to flourish. Five hours later, and a back ache in full swing, I know it is spring.

The pond needs cleaning.
There is a humongous white pine branch in the backyard that needs cutting up and removing.
The weeds are winning the war already.
Who asked for warmer weather? Oh, I guess that was me.....

At least I have spent the last five years planting perennials. Every season I have a little less to fill in and what is already established comes back with greater strength than the year before. I am very proud of my garden. It just kills me a little at a time. Weeding is back breaking: pruning, digging, snipping... If anyone ever really comes up with a non-chemical way to deal with weeds they will make a fortune. Ground cover is another matter of issue. It never takes where I need it, but it grows like crazy where I don't want it to. Grass loves to grow in the flower beds, not so much on the lawn area. Poison ivy knows no boundaries. Need I say more?

For all my kvetching, I do love this time of year. I was very happy to be able to spend time outside puttering away with the birds singing along with me. The sun stays up until almost 6:30pm and days are noticeably longer and warmer. I don't miss winter for one second, ever!

I am ready to do battle. New gardening gloves have been broken in, there is dirt under my nails and I have extra Tylenol for my back. Bring on Spring!

M

Going Topless

Hi,
here she is, my new car. A Lexus IS250C, obsidian, with black leather interior and all the bells and whistles.... and she is a convertible! I've never owned a convertible in my life so I guess this is my mid-life crisis car. It all started with a Lexus promotion.....

I received a card in the mail inviting me to test drive any Lexus and they would pay me $75. How can you pass up an offer like that? I made an appointment with the dealership in Princeton, and since I needed to be up in that neighbourhood, I figured I'd have some fun in a convertible and make $75 doing it. I show up, test drive a cute little convertible and they try and sell it to me.... it's a 2012 "left-over" and it's a real bargain... yah, yah... "sorry, I have to check with my husband first". I have found that excuse to come in handy on occasion. I tell Marshall about my little test drive, more impressed with making $75 than anything else, but he wants to see the car. We go back to the dealer the next day, he drives it and they start in with the sales schpiel... we thow out a very low offer and they dodge it. No deal, bye-bye.

The following week I'm down in Florida & my dad and I see this car everywhere. The Lexus dealership in Naples says the price offered on the Princeton car is excellent, we should buy it... more sales pitch. What ever. I get home and find out the car in Princeton is sold. Oh well. Life goes on.... but now my husband has "the bug". His favorite thing in the whole world is car shopping and he's a man on a mission. He finds another IS250C up in Rhode Island..... but they end up selling that car also to someone else.... now one in Baltimore pops up. The internet makes car shopping a global experience these days. After some back and forth with the Baltimore dealer I come home to find that we have put a deposit on a Lexus.... wow!

Yesterday we flew down to Baltimore, taking our friend Kim with for the flight. The dealer, Jonathan Butler picked us up at the Martin State Airport (a very cool little place if you're into military planes and vintage  20's architecture).  We're about to close the deal on the car when Marshall notices that the certified cheque I had made up at our bank the day before is for the wrong amount... by A LOT! No, we do not want to buy a Lexus for $430,042.00.... ooops! Too many zeros in that number. Amazingly the dealer wasn't fazed at all. I think they we a little impressed that our bank seemed to think we had that much money in the account. They let me take the car and drive home with Kim on a promise that I would send another cheque that afternoon. While we were at the dealership the bank started phoning us, begging that we bring the cheque back so they could issue one for the correct amount. Once Marshall's blood pressure returned to normal we had  good laugh about it, but that wasn't for at least another hour after noticing the error. I was tempted to hit Atlantic City and put it all on red... oh well. my conscience and better judgement kicked in. Rats!

The new Lexus brought Kim and I home in record time. I had the bank issue a new, corrected amount cheque which is on it's way to Baltimore and today I drove around topless.

Mid-life is looking pretty good from the front seat of a Lexus IS250C.

xox
m

All Star Games

Hi,
yes, I watched the NBA All Star Game on Sunday evening.... and I yawned most of the way through it. Why do they bother? It wasn't a true competitive game. It wasn't even a match-up event. The whole thing is a farce and a waste of talents' time.... or maybe they just need a "play date", which is what it looked like.

The big talent on the floor, the Kobe and the LeBron, the Durant and the KG all play the game at a power level unmatched by anyone else around right now. With brand names like theirs they should be knighted so we can call them "Sir Kobe" and "Lord LeBron" as they strut around the boards like they own them... and they do! Chris Paul, Carmello Anthony and Blake Griffin hold their own with their swiftness, strength and floor awareness. I'd buy a ticket to see them play any day. Then there are the bottom tier of the ladder. Yes, they are stars too but they look sad and lost compared to the BIG boys on the court. Drew Holiday looked like a middle school player next to Russell Westbrook. Brook Lopez was a lumbering oaf beside Dwight Howard, who was playing with an injured shoulder.

No, I couldn't get out there on a basketball court and do any thing against a 4th grader with a ball. I'm no "all star" at anything, but I'm not getting millions of dollars either for what I do. There was a whole lot of pyre-technics,  Ne-Yo and Alicia Keys rocked the house at half time, and my favorite fashion-Esta interviewer, Craig Sager, did not disappoint. Craig came out looking like Liberace on a bad hair day... where does he get these outfits from and why does his mother dress him so funny? Does any of this pop and flash have anything to do with playing basketball? Nope, but I guess it sells tickets, makes the ratings and gives Craig a place to wear a silver lame sports jacket with a blue-purple shirt and pocket poof. I'm not kidding. Kevin Garnet told him he has to stop dressing like a Christmas ornament. Is this what basketball has been reduced to? Yup!

I love a good basketball game.... too bad this wasn't one of them.

xox
m

Justin Bieber Hair

Hi,
right now I am a human experiment involving hair growth. I decided to try and let my hair grow in and see how it looks. No more 'bald chick' look for the time being. This is huge for me since I haven't had hair on my head in the last 4 years since my cancer surgery left me with a 'putting green' bald spot.

It's been 4 weeks since I last shaved my scalp and I'm looking pretty odd. My hair was never good to begin with, it's thin and straight and not a very flattering colour. Now it is also very gray and I can't colour it because of the cancer problem. No more chemicals on my head or in my body, chemo did me in. There is now this 1/4" dark peach fuzz that is sticking up in all sorts of weird directions, just like Justin Biebers'. It doesn't look any better on me than it does on him in my opinion. Alfalfa, from Our Gang, had similar hair problems but he was cute and goofy with his pointed up-do. I don't know that there is enough gel, hairspray or goop to control what is going on with my coiffure.

The more my hair grow, the less I like it. I had to find a comb yesterday. Thank goodness I didn't throw them all out. Shampoo has become a necessity again. I even have to remember to dry it thoroughly before I run out of the health club after swimming so I don't catch an pneumonia in this cold weather... all these issues I had put behind me and didn't miss. What was I thinking? Why do I want hair on my head again? It's such a pain!

I am making a valiant effort to try and look 'normal'. I don't think my hair will grow in thick enough, or in the right direction (I have cowlicks that send my hair every where but where I want it to be) to cover my surgical spot. From the right side I look perfectly fine. Women in the health club come up and comment on how cute my hair looks... until they catch a glimpse of me from the left where I look like a bad joke. Then they are not quite sure what to say. I explain that it's an experiment to see if I can get my hair to cover the 'spot'. They nod and back away. I get the hint.

Part of me is excited to look normal again, the other part couldn't care less and really doesn't want to dig out the blow dryer from the basement. Bald was beautiful, easily dealt with with a prosthetic scalp augmentation (better known as a wig) and showering time was cut in half. I can always go back to looking like Mr. Clean when this whole test run gets old or fails. I don't think the Bieber look is working for me just yet. Maybe I need more gel?

xox
m 

Weather.... or not?

Hi,
it is officially winter. Yes, it is January 28th today, 30 degrees out, snowing and that is exactly what it is supposed to be doing. Why is everyone so shocked? People around here are everything from 'insulted' by the weather to 'total denial'. Come on, it is January, Mother Nature, and the calendar, gave you all fair warning that winter was going to get here. Get your boots on, go find your mittens and stop griping about it.

Every year it's the same old story. We kvetch it's too hot in July, moan about the days getting shorter in October, suffer the stupid holiday seasonal shopping of December, then, low and behold, the crying starts about real winter weather. Why? Put on the big-boy-pants and deal with it.... snow tires might be a good idea too while you're all at it.

Last week, during our first real snow drop, there was utter ciaos on the roads for two days. You all seem to completely forget how to drive in winter, I know there is about 8 months when you don't get to practice "proper spacing between cars", "stopping on icy terrain" or "driving with care in a blizzard" but if you have held a drivers license for more than 5 years you have had 5 winters to get the hang of it all. It's not brain surgery, it is common sense that rules, and physics. Big, heavy objects, going 60mph will take a long slide on ice to stop no matter how hard you hit the brakes, especially with out snow tires. Am I making my point yet about needing better tires in winter? Get better tires! There, I said it plain and clear.

While you are at it, having proper winter wear wouldn't be a bad idea either. That include boots, hats, gloves/mittens, scarf and a coat made out of more than just a layer of cotton. Everyone seems to be sick with the flu or a terrible cold. Duh? You can't walk around in 20 degree weather, wearing summer clothes and not get sick... unless you are a polar bear and in that case you can even skip the shorts and tees, but they OWN a permanent fur coat! Even the animals know to dress warmer for winter. Aren't we supposed to be the smart mammals on the planet? You would never guess to see people walking around, dressed for summer while the wind chill pushes the temperature down to the point of busting a thermometer.

Does congress need to pass laws so that the population will start to take the weather seriously? NYC has outlawed sugary drinks over 16oz. Maybe they need to add in a law for mandatory mittens when the mercury dips below 32°? I'm just looking out for your welfare.... and mine. I don't want your cold or flu. Put on your boots before you go out today. You will thank me when you don't slip on the ice and land on your backside.... and then get those snow tires on your car!

xox
m

The Next Step

Hi,I'm not sure who I have told, and who I haven't, so I'm just doing a mass e-mail to cover off what has gone on with dad and my moms' accident.

In my last posting I let you know that the driver walked away from court scot-free. While this is a horrible thing, that he should see no fine, charge or even a slap on the wrist for hitting a pedestrian at a crosswalk, the good outcome of this is that it finally made dad realize that the US legal system is not something he can take on by himself... so we finally got a lawyer involved.

My "Canadian" side of my brain didn't want to start up with a lawyer any more than my dad did, but the "US" side knew that this was a necessity and it was just a matter of time until my dad developed the same mentality.  My friend in Fort Myers, Candace, just happened to swim regularly with a lawyer who specialized in accidental injury cases. Dad tried chasing a couple of other legal firms and got either no response to his calls or he was pawned off to a paralegal and never did hear from a lawyer about this case. The lawyer Candace recommended, Greg Bosseler, called me right back when I sent him an e-mail at 8:00pm and the next morning he was on the phone with dad at 9am, and at the condo talking face to face with dad by noon. I like this man, he takes action and moves! Dad really liked him too, even if he says he's "a little too tall"... I haven't met him but dad says he's about 6'4" and in our family that is a really tall person... not so much in the NBA. It's all relative. We have a lawyer.

Greg is now working on the case. I think his actions will involve suing the whole world but I don't care at this point. He plans to take on the driver in civil court, the insurance company to make sure they pay up big time, Marco Island for not having proper working traffic lights at the crosswalk (which is the reason the judge didn't hold the driver accountable for hitting mom, the lights weren't working? Really? What happened to the other 3 cars that stopped, the seven witnesses and the fact that it's still against the law to hit a pedestrian at a crosswalk for any reason?)... I'm not sure who else he's going to go after, but I hope it becomes a three-ring circus. I have offered to do a media blitz if necessary... I've always wanted to meet Barbara Walters... okay, maybe this isn't that important. What I did find interesting is how many people want to know who paid off the judge or did the driver play golf with him. Now THAT would make national news, well, at least Florida state coverage. If Honey-Boo-Boo can have a TV reality show I think we could, at least, make the nightly news.....

The down side of this is that it could takes a very long time to see the end of the story. We'll see how efficient Greg can be, but I feel much better knowing someone with experience and a law degree is taking action for dad. Closure is a nice thing to own.

xox
m

USA Justice?

Hi,
yesterday was the day that the driver who hit mom in Marco Island, last April, went before a traffic court judge. Dad went up to Naples to watch the proceedings. I think he also wanted to see who the driver was.

There was a police representative, but not the actual policeman who responded to the accident. Four witnesses were also in court. One witness stated that he was an engineer and he knew that the pedestrian crossing lights were not working properly at the intersection where mom was hit. The lawyer for the driver went so far as to complain that the driver incurred $3500 worth of damage to his vehicle because he was hit by mom on her scooter. In the end the judge decided that there was "inconclusive evidence" that the driver was at fault and the case was dismissed.

Mom had to have 5 surgeries, spent 3½ months in hospital and rehab, died, and the driver didn't even get charged or fined. This makes me sick to my stomach.

This was not the justice I expected. The policeman in court stated it is against the law to hit a pedestrian at a crosswalk, 7 people witnessed the accident, three of the four vehicles stopped for mom as she crossed the road.... what didn't the judge hear as evidence? Who cares if the crossing lights worked or not? She was at a legal crosswalk with traffic stopped going both ways and had the right of way.... this is not brain surgery!


I have finally convinced dad that he needs to get a lawyer involved with this matter. It will now become a civil court case.... and I hope it gets nasty. Where is Perry Mason when you need him? 

Right now the US justice system makes me ill. 

m

Holiday? are you kidding me?

Hi,
Welcome to 2013. I, for one, am thrilled to have made it into the new year. A little battered and bruised but no worse for wear. Who ever decided to call this "holiday time" had a real sense of humor. It sure isn't a "holiday" for most of the people I see.

Over worked. Cramming it all in the few weeks before the holiday, extra chores abounds. Cleaning, shopping, cooking wrapping, arranging dates, times and locals for merriment plus the added burden of pretending to enjoy being stressed, over taxed and financially stretched. Are we having fun yet?

Crowded shops, parking lot hell, surly retail staff, over eating, crying children, too much tinsel, Walmart over-load, empty Scotch Tape dispensers, burnt cookies, drunk Santa's, nothing on the radio but 24/7 Christmas carols.......All threatening to critical mass on December  25th. Oy vey!

My version of "holiday" is not having to cook or clean for a week, something this time of year does not afford the average hausfrau. A holiday includes someone else mixing fruity drinks and serving them in the sun by a giant pool. Morning prune juice and shoveling snow do not conjure up a festive image in my mind. Parties should be in hotel ballrooms with dance bands. No bar mitzvah boy necessary, just great music and champagne with a big dance floor. Did I mention the "no Christmas carol" rule?

It is now a moot point. The holiday season has passed. We survived. I don't have to hear Frosty the Snowman again for another 357 days. I consider that a small blessing if nothing else. the guests are gone and the house has been cleaned within an inch of its life. the quiet is deafening, but I love it.

Bah humbug, and that is my final word on the issue.

M