Pool Etiquette

Hi,
I teach swimming.
I love what I do.
I need to get the 'pool rules' out there, poor pool etiquette is rampant.

There are rules to swimming in a public pool setting beyond 'not jumping in on top of someones head' and refraining from screaming "help" unless you really need it. Some are obvious rules, such as "look before you leap", others are more subtle. It's the subtle ones that need review.

It is okay to splash about if there is no one around. Crowded pools are not a good place to throw a fountain-fit. Especially if most of the people in the pool with you are bigger, older and trying to swim laps for their daily dose of exercise. You are bound to get tossed out at the very least and possibly banished for life. The only exemption to this rule are really cute 2 year olds or Golden Labradors (chocolate and black labs qualify also), everyone else is subject to getting their butt walloped. 

Sharing swimming lap lanes. You must learn to play nice and share in the pool. The lap lane is not yours and yours alone. A 25m lane can comfortably hold up to six swimmers if they stay in the circle pattern and know to let faster swimmers pass at the ends of the lanes. It's not rocket science, it's common sense. Use it. If you don't want to share, get out of the water and wait until the crowd disperses. No one swims forever and eventually they get tired and go home. You can then have the lane all to yourself... and splash to your hearts content. Until then, man-up and get in the program.

Flotsam and jetsam. Gross stuff, but it sometimes ends up in the water. Get rid of it. Throw it out. Pick it up and dispose of it. Swallow it. I don't care, just don't ignore it and pretend it's not there. I don't like it any more than you do but if we all deal with it, the gunk will disappear and it will be nicer to swim together. Enough said.

Finally, bathing attire. This is a tough one.
Small kids are cute in their rufflie Little Mermaid suits. Over the age of nine, not so much. String bikinis are not swim wear, neither are boxer shorts. Men who insist on wearing thongs must shave their furry bottoms. There is a waist size restriction on two piece suits... if your waist is larger than your hips, "one piece suits only". No sun glasses at an indoor pool, there is no paparazzi to hide from in the deep end. I think that about covers it.

Last one in is a rotten egg.

xox
m