3:10am

Hi,
it's the middle of the night, literally, and I'm haunting the house. This is terrible. I never used to have sleeping problems but now sleep has become my enemy.

We bought a new mattress. It's not the bed. I take melatonin most nights. It's not for lack of drugs. There doesn't seem to be any explanation. I just don't sleep. When I do finally drop off out of sheer exhaustion, I can't stay asleep. I get a couple of hours under my skin and then, like tonight, I'm up prowling around our home, looking for something to do to get me back to sleep. It's my worst nightmare.

Reading can knock me out, sometimes. Other attempts just get me hooked into the book and before I know it the sun is up and I have to start the day. I occasionally sit and knit hoping I'll get tired enough to lie down. Infomercials will lull me into the dead zone of TV land but rarely does this help with my sleep issue. I just end up learning about odd fish on the Discovery channel or watching Lavern & Shirley reruns. Late night television is torturous unless you find an old movie you don't mind seeing again, but that's rare. 

The worst part is 'the next day'. I don't function well without a solid 8 hours of uninterrupted slumber. I feel out of sync. I get cranky. My body clock needs resetting. My head hurts. It's a total bitch and so am I. Drugs don't seem to make a difference and the next day I walk around feeling foggy. I can see how you can get hooked into needing sleep aids, then needing something to keep you awake  during the day when you're fighting the residual affects of the sleeping pills.... it's a nasty cycle.

So here I am, blogging at 3:27. It's help me pass almost a half an hour. Maybe I'll try getting back into bed again. Pleasant dreams to all of you.

xox
m