call today, operators are standing by.....

Hi,
Verizon. You know who I am talking about. They make me want to spit.
Every month I get the bill from Verizon and I wait for it... the increase. It happenes every year, rain or shine. So I make the phone call.

" Hello, this is Verizon, how may we help you?"

Now you know I have sat in voice-mail-hell for at least 15 minutes before I get to hear this human voice but that's not my problem. My Verizon rate has increased, yet again, for no reason other than they hope I won't notice and just keep sending them money... fat chance.

This year I get "Sylvia". She's sweet and even has a sense of humor about where she is working. "Do I have permission to access your account?" She cracks up laughing as she asks me this stupid question. Of course you have permission, without my account info in front of you I can't beging to get my problem of "over charging" rectified.  We both agree that the idiots who write out this dialogue for her to follow are morrons who have never worked the phones a minute in their small and unimportant lives.

After explaining that I am a continued valued, never-missed-a-payment customer of good standing with Verizon, Sylvia wants to know what my problem is. You've raised my rates for no reason, with no notice and for no change in service and I'm refusing the new rate, fully prepared to go to the competition who are charging $20/month less for the exact same crap on TV, internet access and phone deal.... tag, you're it! Sylvia, without missing a beat, says "Let me see if there is a promotion running that I can offer you...." are you kidding? Of course there is a promotion you can offer me, "match your competitors price or I'm history with Verizon" babe! I think that's a catchy name for a promo, don't you?

Sylvia, my new best friend, finds exactly what we are looking for, after a little hemming & hawing for effect, our new Verizon bill is back down to $9 less than I paid every month for the last 6 months. Still not a bargain, but not $20 higher. It's all in how you play the game. I get to be a valued (yet cheap) customer, Verizon gets to live another day. I really want to drop a bomb on these morons at leat once a year but at least it's only once a year I have to bitch at them to get our bundle package at a reasonable price.

Should I start calling the petrolium companies next? Gas at $4.08/gal could use a little whack up side the head too.

xox
m